The Exciting Life of a Postgrad

I drafted three responses to that, going on about how I think most of these diagnoses are bullshit excuses for bad parenting, rationalising my dislike for social encounters with lack of opportunity as I grew up, and similar rubbish, but I think everything boils down to lack of confidence.

I consider myself a perfectly normal guy (maybe a bit controlling if given the chance, and OCD about organisation, but everyone has their own particular and peculiar quirks). When I'm past the awkwardness of the first few meetings with new people, everything is fine - I can stop and talk to them in the street, or in the bar, have longer conversations with them and I get decreasingly worried about being alone with them. I guess it's the same for most people.

I find it difficult to ask girls I like out for coffee (or, I suppose, anything that could constitute a date), because I see it as an admission of feelings and I'm convinced that they would too, which scares me. I've never liked losing control of a situation (or myself... which I guess is a reason for not drinking), and I feel deeply uncomfortable about entirely exposing myself emotionally to someone who is still a stranger. Then again, to them, it may just seem like a gesture of friendship.

Short answer to diagnosis: No. I guess I'm just more reserved and lacking in confidence than others.

Maybe manning up and saying, "Fuck it, you only live once", is my best course of action. Obviously with this girl, however attractive I find her, there's nothing that can be done. Maybe things won't work out and I'll get my chance within a couple of months. Maybe things will collapse in a couple of years and I might still be around and single, with renewed feelings. Maybe I'll even randomly bump into someone on a train. Dwelling on things sucks, and I've had a miserable day.

Whatever happens in the future, I can probably work on building up my confidence around people I don't know.