Hilarious quotes

<third_planet> The other night my friend had some pot and wanted me to smoke it with him, but we had nowhere to smoke it because both our parents were home. <third-planet> So we drove around looking for a place to park so we could smoke in the car. <third-planet> We eventually settled on a Wendys parking lot.. <Mr-Butlertron> The logic is all there... <third-planet> I know, it was a ridiculous idea. We were just desperate and that was the first place to pull off.. <third-planet> So we park in the back of the parking lot under this tree, and it's dark out, so we figure we're secluded enough. We start to light up and a cop pulls in. So we both sit really still and hope the cop will think the car is empty and just parked there. Or that he won't notice. <third-planet> The cop circles the parking lot once, then parks behind us and we're both freaking out. So Bobby, my friend, takes all the pot and shoves it in the glove compartment. But the car smells like pot, so we figure we're busted. <third-planet> So Bobby says we've gotta distract the cop from the pot. In a huge flash, he rips his shirt off, undoes my pants and sticks his hand inside. Before I can process what's happening, the cop knocks on my window. Then he looks in and sees Bobby shirtless, with his hand down my pants and turns bright red. <third-planet> I roll my window down and the cop says in this really flustered voice, his face bright red, "you guys be good now" and walks quickly back to his car and drives off. <third-planet> He didn't even notice the smell of pot. <third-planet> We drove home in the most uncomfortable fucking silence ever.

<[BAC]Draxon|TWL> "The animals will hear!" bellowed the ear licking penguin as the awesomely endowed midget sucked her oozing charlies and plugged his purple middle leg into her festering cunt. <[BAC]Draxon|TWL> oops <[BAC]Draxon|TWL> wrong window <d|syztem> what the FUCK

<frank> can you help me install GTA3? <knightmare> first, shut down all programs you aren't using frank has quit IRC. (Quit) <knightmare> ...

<NHBoy> I broke my G-string while fingering a minor <rycool> ... <NHBoy> I was trying to play Knocking on Heaven's Door. <NHBoy> Oh well, time to buy new strings.

hohoho