Making fun of somebody getting abused isn't comical, no matter how fucking morbid you are.
I don't see how you can get off saying I fail at relationships. I talk to more girls on a day-to-day basis than all the girls you have dated combined. In my opinion, girls like well-kempt responsible adults rather than a smelly fatass with an addiction to computer games. And no I'm not bragging either, since we're on the subject of women and relationships I just figured I'd be honest and point out the facts.