Jess's return to the Literature Forum.

Updated. New text in italics.

...I told you it'd be updated slowly. Only as fast as I write it out in my notebook.

Oooooh, a notebook. I'm cringing.

I've never liked notebooks for writing things out in. Maybe random notes and doodles, or the odd paragraph, but a whole story would hurt.

Is it a special notebook? You know, one of this secret ones with a sparkly cover, or a black leather cover, or red velvet type thing? Those are nice.

You know, I've just had a strange vision of your battlefield. Filled with the bodies of course. But they all look like your avatar.

Anywho...nice little add-on. Write more soon! Please!

Updated again.

Yes, I own several notebooks. Usually to doodle in, or write random poems or random paragraphs. And no, they're nothing special (Though they were on sale...), just plain Subject Notebooks of varying colors. This story was granted the purple notebook. I find it easier to stick to a story when there's only one story per notebook. I don't get distracted and move onto another story. Though...the more I write it the more it changes. I've changed quite a few things in the transfer from the notebook to here.

Also, my avatar is an alien. I drew him a few years ago in one of these said notebooks. His name is Bvrklx, and he looks like a humanized radish with a superman/vampire complex. You'd best respect, y0.

The mental image is rather amusing, however.

You've got to get yourself a special notebook. Special notebooks rock everyone's socks! There's something about them that makes them ...secret. YOu see a sparkly notebook and you instantly think "secrets".

That poor woman in the crystal/rock.

I've never really understood "gawping". Dictionary.com tells me it's staring stupidly. In my mind a girl wouldn't stare stupidly at a woman in mortal pain enclosed in a tomb of rock. She'd probably stare wide-eyed, horror contorting her features as she took in the sickening view of a once majestic creature in the throes of death. Though a better word than sickening would be used. I can't think clearly atm.

But that's just me. I'm one of these people in life who likes things their way.

"His way or no way, totalitarian" - as always, Arctic Monkey's lyrics show us a glimpse of life.

IMHO, gawking fits best. She's just a teenager, and gawking is what people in general do when they come across something they don't know how to react to, as in this case.

...Besides. If I made the beginning too wordy, the readers would be severely disappointed later on in the story. And it's already shaping up to be that way.

i say keep it up no matter what other ppl say!

Fair point. I ought to gawk at bit more myself then.

If you made the beginning too wordy then you could pass it off as more than a beginning. Take some kind of event from the end or whatever, make it into a Prologue, stick in the very wordy ex-beginning, and carry on with what you do best. Sor'ed, innit?

Hint: Dream. Detailed for a reason.