My story for school

Im supposed to write for 30 mins. This is what i came up with -.- ~~

September 4th, 2004.

I was standing in a puddle of rain. Fresh, clean, cleansed rain that fell straight from the heavens into my palm. I had to stay thinking about the topic at hand, but for some reason i couldnt. Theres just too many destractions to keep me from thinking about him. I cant stop now though, i must move on. I seems like the same cars passing by again. Its been circling for hours or more. Have no idea why though. Theres nothing to stop me from going full on if they interrupt my complete surrenity, though. It seemed like it was 5 or 6 PM but i wasn't 100% sure. Im thinking to myself " Does this excite you" " Does your imagination excite the absolute feeling of nothing? Does it make you want to live?" Theres nothing that makes me want to live. The life i've been leading is completly pointless. People say god works in mysterious ways, and so do i. It doesnt mean i'm god, it means we're just a lot alike.
I finally decided to get a move on and stop whining about my life. I was thinking, " If you can change it, then dont cry about it." and thats what gave me motovation to finally live this life. I've been walking down main street for a while, looking for spare change, or a dollar bill , or god help me a blank check, but we all know thats not going down. As i look into the distance, i actually.. I see a blank check! Wait, no, that was just me playing with you. There's no checks or dollar bills or any change. Theres just me on main street, running away from my old life. I cant face the truth of what i did to him. There's no reason to do it. I didnt mean to do anything to him, but i did. I regret that and i wish i could go back and stop myself, but i cant do that. If there were a way, i'd have tried it.
You're probabally wondering who im talking about, what im talking about, and where in the hell I am. It all started last monday. Me and my best friend, or so i thought, Zack were walking down the stream, just looking along. See, this here stream has tons of glass and leaches at the bottem, due to vandilazation, and just the plain nasty leach water... We were just walking and Zack decided to mess with me. He told me there was a snake next to my foot, and for the longest time i believed him and was scared to death. At that point he had pushed me in the stream. I was furious, my hands were cut up and there was 4 leachse on my legs. I tore the leaches off angrly. I asked him why he did that. He said " Beacuse you're stupid." At this point i was furious, there was no reason to ever treat a friend like that. I told him to go to hell. I pushed him. He didnt fall though. I was walking down the other side of the stream as he jumped on my back. See i'm a lot bigger than him, so he can fit on me. He jumped on my back and i took his arm and flew him over my shoulders. He was standing right infront of the stream. He swung at me and i took it. This goes on for about 12 more seconds. He swings and I laugh, just getting more angered every time. The last time he swung at me, i grabbed his arm. I had his arm and i blacked out. I dont remember what happened, except when i woke up, he was in the stream with, and he had drowned. My best friend in the whole world, zack was dead.
I thought i had done it, i know i had done it. It was the worst mistake i've ever made. I wish i would've just let it go and walked away. I cant stop it now. I just let him die. I figured the cops will find me and execute me on the spot, eventually. I cant wait until they do. I want to die, but i cant bring myself to it. I cant do it, not now, not ever. I wouldnt even shoot myself if i had a firearm... I would be too afraid to pull the trigger. I would tell myself " Just once, and its all over" and i would pull it, and forget that the safety was on. That was the last time i tried it. I cant do it anymore, knowing that you murdered your best friend, the one you shared all of your secrets with, the one that you loved like a brother, knowing that you murdered that guy.. That is worse than any execution. There is no substitute for a best friend, you cant get another one just like him. hampsters, dogs, cats... Those dont mean anything. Money doesnt mean anything. Girls dont mean anything. You can waste your money, you can spend every last bit of it, and if you work hard, you can get it all back. If you waste your time, you can never get it back. I wasted my time, I wasted my life. I'll never be able to expierence friendship again. I'll never make any friends for the rest of my life. i cant make friends. I know the same thing is too much to risk even if i know it isnt going to happen again.
Ranting on like this isnt helping. You dont care, nobody cares. The point is, i murdered Zack. I wasted my time, and i wasted my life. I'll never get any of it back. I'm so pathetic that i cant even go out by myself. I have to wait to die. I have to wait to live. I know i'm going to hell. Right now hell isnt looking too bad. If satan really wanted to make a hell that is crazy, he should just keep us all on earth. This is worse than hell, my life. You're probabally saying " No, Its not." Do you know what its like to have no friends? To have no family? To be rejected by your family. I tried to tell them, but they said i was a monster. I'm not.
I had it all before this. I had a girlfriend, a car, money, a job. A best friend. Parents who loved me, and everything. Now what have i got? 8 rotten teeth. A drinking problem, and i'm an exile from life. I quit my life, a long time ago. I'm a parasite. I live off of people, i beg, thats what i do now. Only because i cant accept who i am and i cant go back to my old life...God i'm so mad at myself.