Role Playing Theories!!!

I have a new idea. RPT's. Role Playing Theories.

Let me explain. I have come up with quite a few theories. Such as 21 ways to keep a healthy level of Insanity around you, and 21 things to say to a Telemarketer. Now, what I was thinking, was that you could make these into Role Playing Theories, where you name the main character, and decide what they look like. The theories will be the same no matter what, but the little things, such as names, genders etc. will be changed by your answers in the opening stages. If anyone wants to try it, then here are the theories:#

21 Ways to keep a Healthy Level of Insanity around yourself:

1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
2) Page yourself over the intercom. (Don’t disguise your voice.)
3) Insist that your e mail address be: ‘xena-goddess-of-fire@companyname.com’ or ‘Elvis-the-king@companyname.com’
4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
5) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronised chair dancing
6) Put your waste bin on your desk and label it 'IN'.
7) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
8) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso
9) Reply to everything someone says with, “That’s what you think.”
10) Finish all your sentences with “In accordance with the prophecy.”
11) Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire working area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
12) Dont use any punctuation
13) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
14) Ask people what sex they are.
15) Specify that your drive through order is “to go.”
16) Sing along at the opera.
17) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
18) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)
19) Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you’re doing. For example: “If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom”
20) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle
21) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party cause you’re not in the mood.

20 Things to say when a Telemarketer phones you:

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . . "
3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
4. This works great if you are male. Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company. " You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"
5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.
6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?"
8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"
9. After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can't just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
10. Tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same company, and they can't sell to employees.
11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, "Oh my God!" and then hang up.
12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" Hang up.
13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
14. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.
15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.
16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.
17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."
18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up...louder...louder...
20. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.

Like.. mad libs? I'm not sure what you're asking for here, but it doesn't sound like something that would be typically done with RPG Maker.

INPUT NAME

John Doe The Third

(*)Male
( )Female

---

1) [Name] is a stupid moron. Yes [he/she] is.
2) [Name] is currently on fire.
3) I would like to punch [Name] in [his/her] face.

---

You can pretty much write a QBASIC program for that.. (Threw this one together in a few minutes, probably has some error somewhere, but you get the point:)

REM --------------Declare Variables----------------- DIM YName AS STRING DIM Gender AS STRING DIM HeShe AS STRING DIM HimHer AS STRING DIM HisHer AS STRING REM --------------Input Stuff----------------- NameInput: INPUT "Input a name: "; YName$ GenderInput: INPUT "Input a gender (M/F) "; Gender$ Gender = UCASE$(Gender) Gender = LEFT$(Gender, 1) IF NOT ((Gender = "M") OR (Gender = "F")) THEN GOTO GenderInput REM --------- Set gender-specific words ------------ IF Gender = "M" THEN HeShe = "he" ELSE HeShe = "she" IF Gender = "M" THEN HimHer = "him" ELSE HimHer = "her" IF Gender = "M" THEN HisHer = "his" ELSE HeShe = "her" REM ------------------Output------------------- CLS PRINT "1) "; YName; " is a moron. Yes "; HeShe; " is." PRINT "2) "; YName; " is currently on fire." PRINT "3) I would like to punch "; YName; " in "; HisHer; " face."

Edit: Fixed again..

Hmm, John Doe the Third. I think I prefer the English Joe Bloggs. Heh, may be a clothes manufacturer but I am English. What's the female version?

Jane Doe is the female counterpart to John Doe, usually.

Again, is this the sort of thing you're looking for, or something completely different?

I don't know yet. If it is, I'll include if not, I'll try and include it in something different.

Err, what I posted was a QBASIC program to do what I thought you asked for. It won't work with RPG Maker, but you can copy/paste it into QBASIC if you have it.

I'll ask more clearly this time:

Is my theory on what you wanted correct? (i.e. something where you input a name, gender, etc. and have a story/list built around that)

More or less. The theory stays the same, its just the name and gender that are different. Take The telemarketer theory #8. The message might be:

Godd Afternoon Mr. Bluecube. My name is Judy and I work for ___________ Rug Cleaning Company.

The above is to do with the surname.

Or #4.

Good afternoon Mr. Bluecube. My name is Judy and I work for ____________ Company.

If you chose male then the telemarketer's name would be Judy, if you chose female then their name would be Joe. It's just to make it more personal etc.

Yeah, that would be more of a minor programming project than an RPG Maker one.

I suggest getting QBASIC 4.5 and playing around with it. It's a rather simple language (rather fitting that it's called BASIC). You can really do some neat stuff with it if you want to, but stick to RPG Maker if you just want an RPG.

http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~twotowe...tware/qb45.zip

Extract it to C:\QBASIC\ . All the files will then be in C:\QBASIC\qb45\ , so run QB.exe to start it up. (Don't change the location, because DOS based programs don't like that.) Yeah, it's DOS based, but then again you can just write programs in Notepad (save them with a .bas extension) and import them if you don't like working within the DOS window.

I attached Lenny.zip, which contains Lenny.bas and Lenny.exe. If you don't want to download QBASIC first, you can just look at Lenny.bas in Notepad and see the result within the EXE (obviously, since the EXE is complied it doesn't rely on the Lenny.bas anymore, so no changes can be made).

Wow. I like your little program. So, to make it my own, all I would have to do is copy it into a new document, change the Outcomes to suit the theories, and save it. Yes?

Wow. I like your little program. So, to make it my own, all I would have to do is copy it into a new document, change the Outcomes to suit the theories, and save it. Yes?

Basically, yeah. You can also add more variables and inputs if you want. Just remember: All literal strings (such as the "#1) " part) must go inside quotation marks. To add a variable, you just use the variable name, outside of the quotation marks. Just look at the examples, I'm sure it's not TOO difficult, but if you need help just ask me over a PM (since this an RPGMaker forum, not a QBASIC one..)