Dumb work stories

God, since I started working at the Guest Service Desk at work I see all sorts of idiots come through. The main thing we do up there is returns and such, and usually it goes smoothly...but you have those few special cases where you feel like throttling the person.

A few months ago a lady came by with her Meijer Card Bill and a box of hair dye. Lucky me, because I was the one who got to help her, and it took an insanely long time to do so, and I was growing increasingly exasperated throughout it.

She pointed at her bill and asked me why there was a $25 late charge on her bill when she sent a money order down to Florida* on the day it was due. Conversation went (Somewhat, I don't remember exact wording anymore. You'll get the picture, though.) as follows:

Her: "Why did they charge me $25? I sent them the money."
Me: "I'm not exactly sure, ma'am. I'm sure if you call their help line you get hold of someone who can tell you why it's there."
"But I don't know the number."
"It's on the back of your credit card. Actually (I proceed to pull out a car application and point out the number for her), this is the number as well.
"Oh...But why did they charge me? I sent them the money the day it was due."
"I'm not sure. If I had to guess, I assume that the money order took more than a day to get to them. You'll have to call the number to be sure."
"But I sent them the money."
"...I know. You'll have to call them to see why the late fee is there, because I don't know why.
"Oh...Well, since I'm here, can I put some money on my bill?"
"Of course! Do you have your Meijer Card on you?"
"No, I just need to put $25 on it."
"Oh, actually, we can't do it unless we have your card to slide through our computer. It won't work otherwise."
"But I don't have it."
"You can't pay the bill without the card."
"But I just want to put $25 on it."
"...You can't pay the bill without the card."
"But I don't have it."
"I'm sorry, but the computers won't let you pay for the bill unless we have the card itself to slide through the machine. If you want to go home and get the card and come back with it, then you can pay the bill. We don't close the desk until 11pm."

By then she paused and just stared at her credit card bill, and I had the sneaking suspicion that she was going to ramble about her late fee again, so I snuck off to help another customer. Shanika, another of the service desk girls, and currently on maternity leave, was filling cigarettes at the moment and the woman asked her if she could trade her hair dye for a different color. Shanika told her that she could, but she had to return it first since the numbers on the barcode were different, and that she could repurchase the hair dye with the gift card she was going to give her. I was then told to go on my last break when I heard the woman say "But I just want a different color..."

I ran for it.

*We don't even have a Meijer down in Florida, much less a corporate building for customers to send their bills to.

Methinks your plan to overcharge customers and take their money for yourself has been rustled! Quick! To the Levi-athon!

What type of daft person sends the money ON the due date and expects it to arrive on the same day? The DUE DATE is the date it should get there, stupid moron.

Why not just get some kind of automated billing system that takes the money out of your bank account for you?

As my boss says: "The customers are fucking idiots."

That's a real quote, even.

Thank you, that was amusing.

Oh, on not-so busy days we like to have airsoft wars in the grill and drive-thru area. Either that or we stick M-80s into bananas or ice cream cones.