First I have to get my computer fixed. Then I need to get a wireless modem. Then I have to make sure atleast one of my neighbors has internet. Which reminds me, I need to bump my computer help thread.
After you've gone up in the world, you become friends with rich people. And the rich people let you fix their computers for free because you are a 'geek'. Which means you can then access all their personal files.
Yada yada yada...
...and assume their identity.
And that, kids, is how you get a long jail sentence.