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Well, my weekend (Well, technically Friday through Tuesday) was a roller coaster, to say the least. A roller coaster of emotions, physical pain, fun, and just chaotic drinking. I flew down to Atlanta, GA with 3 of my buddies for the weekend to party and watch the Eagles vs. Falcons Monday Night Football game (I'll get to that, don't worry).
Friday, 6:00 P.M. - Hit up a local dive bar for some beers, shots, and pool with my friends.
Saturday, 3:00 A.M. - Stop drinking finally (Sloshed), and one of the bartenders (Whom my friend is dating/banging) drives us to the airport.
Saturday, 4:00 A.M. - Arrive at the airport. Blackout.
Not good, because I'm very surprised any of us made it through the security check and boarded the plane. Apparently I'm quite entertaining and understandable when I black out, so I hear of course...
Saturday, 2:00 P.M. through Sunday, 3:00 A.M. - Start a bar crawl with about 150 other Eagles fans that are on this trip. We hit up 7 bars throughout the night, and I drop around $250. Keep in mind, I haven't sobered up yet, so the first two drinks already got me plenty drunk and right back to where I was a hillarious drunk mess. The whole night was literally just a drunk fest, with about 50, "E-A-G-L-E-S, Eagles!" chants, and 50, "Fly Eagles, Fly!" fight songs ensuing. I didn't think I tried to kick game to any chicks, but I will elaborate on that later.
Now it gets really interesting..
Sunday, 2:00 P.M. through Monday 2:00 A.M. - Another happy hour starts off the festivities. Honestly, this day started out a lot slower.. It took me about an hour to get down my first 2 beers, which then if anyone is a big drinker, realizes that my hangover was starting to go away and the beers started flowing again. Man, those first 3-4 beers were like friggin' torture though. This time, we took 8 charter buses to the outskirts of Atlanta, because inside the city, the bars close at 12:00 A.M.
Now, we get on the bus to go to these bars around 9:00 P.M., at which time I am drunk, but not nearly as blasted as the previous two nights. I sit down, and these three chicks are looking and laughing at me. I look over, give them an odd stare and throw a few witty comments (Or at least I thought so) at them. It turns out I was slapping them on the ass the night before and grinding up on them, not really welcomed might I add. To add to the hillarity, they told me that I couldn't put together one coherent sentence. After I got over the initial shock and disbelief, we basically hung out all night, and my buddies came over to jump on the fun.
To make a long story short, my game wasn't as good as I thought, and they didn't really get turned on by my previous night's ass slapping frenzy, so I got no action. However, my 3 friends were ALL hooking up. I didn't really care though (That's a blatent lie).
Titus rolls along solo. Not much progress is made, and I meet up with my buddies and their chicks on the bus back to the hotel. For some reason, I look over and see this dude that is passed out in the seat, so I start busting his chops for no apparent reason. Well, he wasn't very passed out and heard me. He is now livid and threatening to "End me!" to no end. I bite my tongue, and feel like a complete bitch.. As I'm getting off the bus he starts laughing and calls me a pussy, at which point I become a living fire cracker ready to explode. I call him out, and as soon as he gets off the bus I sneak him straight in the face. He falls back, and I get tackled by his buddy into some bushes with mulch around it. At this point he is wailing at the back of my head and I am just covering up, taking it (A nice lump is now present behind my ear).
During my covering up, my 3 other friends are now all fighting the other 4 of them. They said no real punches were landed, and one of the fights turned into a gay ass wrestling match with body exchanges. The guy bitching me in the bushes gets up, and it turns out he is a slightly fat dude that clearly had 2 inches on me and about 40 pounds.. Sober, I'm not very confident against those types of people, but drunk, I couldn't care less. I call him an asshole, or something not-so-clever along those lines, and tell him to fight me when I'm actually looking. At which point, he rips off his shirt (Fat as shit, LOL!), and bull rushes me into the hotel lobby. I don't fall, and we start exchanging deflecting face shots and throwing eachother into walls. I finally land one good shot on his chin, and he turns around and walks away. Of course I run after him and throw a hay-maker to the back of his head, which he barely flinches at, and I break my fucking hand in the process.
At this point, cops fly into the scene and me and my 3 buddies duck out in the hotel and take the stairs to our room. Basically, I ruined all chances of my buddies getting laid and to top it off, the back of my head and hand are throbbing like a mother fucker! I leave the room to go to the ice machine. We are on the 4th floor and the vending machines/ice machines are on odd numbered floors. I get on the elevator, and there are 3 older women there. I'd say they were about 45 +/- 5 years. One of them is totally checking me out, and asks what I'm doing. We have some extremely quick flirty looks at one another and she asks how many friends I'm with. I tell her 3, and she tells me to bring them to room 707.
I get ice, go back to the room, and tell my buddies. Of course, we immediately go to the room. One of the silver-backs basically jumps one of my friends immediately, and I start getting it on with the one that was making crazy sex looks at me. The 3rd older woman is not having it though, and breaks up the eerily odd fast orgy that was starting to take place. So, within 10 minutes, we are in there drinking a few Miller Lites with them, making out, and getting kicked out. Best part, my chick was walking around in her bra by the time I was given the cock-blocking boot from her beat ass friend.
Again, definitely a cool hook-up, since that was the oldest I've ever gotten with, but no real action.
Monday, All Day through Tuesday (This is too fucking long already, so this will be quick) - Tailgate for the Eagles game, talk a lot of shit, lose the game, get verbal beatings on the way out of the stadium, and hit up a strip club around 2:00 A.M. Get home around 4:00 A.M. and go to bed. Wake up, check out of the hotel, get in a cab to the airport, fly home, and vuala. I'm home in time for The Real World on MTV.
Sorry for the long read, I just kept remembering great details as I was typing..
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(she was sober)
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