It's official: All women are lesbians

I don't have a girlfriend? Actually I do buddy. And she's bisexual, the next best thing to a lesbian. All she'd have to do is look at you and turn lesbian in an instant.

How would know know? Have you ever seen me?

My girlfriend looks at me all the time, she's not a lesbian. I guess I'm enough for her.

But you wouldn't know what that's like, huh?