R.I.P.

were you close with your cousin? I've been trying "survivors" meetings, all i think the whole time is how he'd want to kill everyone in there and then some. craziness. our last conversation was about how he would kill someone so that the gov't would take care of him instead of me. lame.

It's a long story, but not really. Just keep your head up, don't try and blame yourself. He obviously had some demons he was battling and just decided it wasn't worth the fight, which is unfortunate.