My relationship.. status.

Well where to start.

Most of you might know, that I had dated the same girl for a very long time, since 07-19-2006. Exactly a week after my 19th birthday, I had been dating the same girl, which was an awesome feeling. She was also the girl I lost my V-card too (somewhat emberassing, but I am a bitch about stuff like that, I like to build trust with a girl before going that far, as i've heard before.. don't have sex with a girl you couldn't have kids with..because accidents do happen)

Anyways, we had been pretty good for a year or so, we eventually moved in together at about a year and three months, things were still good, if not better. Our families were close to each other, we all had gone on a joint-family cruise (about 20 people total). During the span of our relationship I had gone with her to New York to visit HER family during Christmas, and stayed for a week, which was very hard for me to do.

We had gone through some really hard time, but at the same time had some very wonderful, truthful loving times together and I really thought she was the one, which is why I committed so much effort into our relationship.

Anyways, we had gotten somewhat strained towards the end of our relationship, which was in June of '08... Of course, little things caused our issues, but eventually it had been brought up by her that we might should consider a break, in which I seriously don't believe in. I feel if you can't just sit down and find out what's wrong, then nothing is ever going to get fixed, if you just run and hide from your stress and problems, you won't be able to fix anything, it's as simple as that.

Regardless, I wanna say it was about the second weekend in June I had noticed her acting kinda weird, like I knew something was up, but wasn't sure what it was.. It was weird, but like I caught her texting up a storm to somebody I've never heard of, which ended up being my breaking point, later in the story.

She had told me it was just one of her friends that she just went to the club with, which was cool with me I was like whatever. I slip out, well actually "who", which threw her off and you know how you can tell people are lying when they tell you something, she paused for a little bit and looked around.. I just agreed and said "cool" while I knew she was lying.

Anyways, I figure out who the guy is by just asking one of her friends if she did anything wrong while they went out, she just said she got some guys number, and I find out they've been talking for like a week or so, yada yada. (we had mutual respect for each others privacy, and both knew each other's myspace passwords/email passwords..etc etc) so I go to hop on one day on her account to go look at an old e-mail I sent her and she's got an inbox full of this random dude, etc. It's now the third week in June, and a friend of their family, and a friend of mine passes from Leukemia. The next monday in the morning, the day after their friend passes, she tells me that she needs a break. The way she worded it was, "I don't.. I can't be with you right now, i'm just .. not ... ready for a relationship anymore.. I need some space". Which really broke my heart, I've never been so hurt in my entire life. Anyways, she tells me this and I get my stuff, basically and pack it all up, I leave from her, which made things even worse.

But regardless, I was tore up inside, as most people would be after being with somebody for nearly 2 years of their life (our anniversery was only a week or two away..) so I get home, and try to call her almost the rest of that day after work.. she never answeres but texts saying we should talk "later"...

Whatever, I'm just tore up all night, she just gives me the cold shoulder, the next night after work I finally get a hold of her, and I happened to be near her house, and I was just wanting to stop by and talk about.. anything. Of course she said that I couldn't.. I play more into it and eventually after talking for about 10 minutes find out by asking questions that this "guy" that she met at the club and had been talking to for like a week or two, was going to stop by and console about the death of the close friend of their family, and that he just wanted to talk.

I had gotten even worse at this ponit, so fast can you life change without you hardly getting any sign of it, that's why I inherited the quotation "carpe diem". Anyways, I kept trying to contact with her, and nothing. She did not want to talk, do anything, talk. I kept trying for the next two weeks or so and finally I couldn't beat myself up anymore. I had enough. I had to move on, being deprssed and feeling like shit 24/7 is not how anybody should live their life.

So by the time the 4th of July comes around, she still hasn't even tried contacting me, maybe saying something like "Happy 4th" which I just straight up ignored. My birthday (July 12th..Saturday!) Rolls around, and she has the nerves to ask if I'm even having a birthday party. I reply being like you don't talk to me for like 2 weeks and now your asking if I'm having a party? What nerve do you fucking have. I was straight up confrontational about it, and basically gave her the cold shoulder. By the time our 2 year "anniversery" (July 19t..the next saturday) rolled around, I had through texts let her know that we were done, I couldn't do it anymore. Around the same time, I had already been haning out with another girl.. an old friend of mine actually, we had dinner and went to a movie, etc. It was cool, she was a nice pick-me-up, but nothing serious, and that made my Ex very jealous because of course she would find out.

At this point, the end of July is coming up. I'm not talking to the new chick in a dating manner anymore, we both agreed we are just going to be buddies. Hence, another friend through my ex, I had been talking to ever since we split, who was really trying to help us get back together, and eventually saw my side of the story... I had really grown to like a lot, as she helped me through a very tough time in my life, had grown on me, very much so.

Regardless, we started haning out almost immideately near the end of july, and it was like a constant thing after that. We've probably seen about 10 movies together as of today, and gone out to eat a ton of times. We had been haning out since about the 19th or so i'd say.. on and off on and off, and eventually by the time (Aug 12th) rolls around, we finally agree we should date. Which was a huge sigh of relief for me. Now, she did warn me before that it might take a while for her to get back into the swing of things, etc, which I could totally agree with.

Anyways, we were dating until tonight. I've done so many things right, but apparently too much was the key. I guess I may have been overcompensating for my ex, but hey that's how life goes sometimes. What's really shitty, is honestly I think I may have been starting to fall for this girl, this past week or so I've actually started to feel somewhat selfless towards her, meaning that I was making time for her, and that I legimiately wanted her to be happy.. more than anything else. There's something about her that I was instantly pulled into, and I guess it was too much. But hey, that's life. I've made another thread about it, and will go more into detail about it.

well i dont know where your other thread is lol, but i think maybe this is better for you. you were in a long-term relationship and made yourself move on because you were kind of bitter and then kind of just found someone to fill a void or something. maybe it would be better for you to work on yourself, figure out like what you want in life, what you dont want in your next relationship, do things to keep yourself busy, focus on you and not become like depressed over what all's happened in the past few months. just get over it in your own time, dont make yourself move on because you're mad at your ex. if you didn't forgive her for what she did or even find out why she did what she did, you still may need closure, and you won't be able to move on. but this is all from a girl's point of view, what do i know right? lol :P

im sorry all this happened to you, you don't deserve that

Well hey thanks for the advice.

The crazy thing, is really. I've been over my ex for a while now, before I started dating this new girl, which today I guess has thrown us off.. And that's exactly what I had been doing after my ex and I broke apart. I had been to the gym almost every day if not every other day, playing basketball again, hanging out with all of my buddies. Turning back into a jackass, and then my new girl comes along and just throws me back into the goober mood of feeling kindness and love towards somebody and I go with the flow, and after a short amount of time I could and still can see lots of potential with her, she is somebody with her head on straight, maybe too straight and which is why she's calling for us to break. I know she's right that we probably are moving pretty fast, but I just can't help it and I've let her know it..

I guess, I just had to spill some of these beans, I swear I have some funny stories to fill in while I've been gone, just these are on my mind now.

I don't even know what to do, she kept asking me if I wanted to talk, and I told her that i'd rather talk in person, she said she wants to 'clear things up', which I know as most do is codeword for clarifying that we are done :-\ ..but, I'm sure we will still be friends, and still trying to be somewhat hopeful she had said earlier on in the day after she told me she was unsure about us and having second thoughts through texts, was that I said well maybe in time we could be better, and .. well maybe she still wants to try but just needs to get HER head on straight.

Jesus christ, i'm thinking like a female, need to quit overcomplicating things and just go with the flow.

lol you know what, dont stress over her stupid girl problems, because the only one that can fix them is her. she has to do that stuff on her own, so just do what she needs, be there for her, you can "say" you'll be friends but that might be harder on you since you seem have more involved feelings. maybe she's just scared of what she's feeling and wants to make sure she has her feelings right or something, girls are so friggin complicated, it's not even funny. i say just let her do her thing, go on about your business, focus on yourself, get back to doin what you love, and if she's ready to come back, then she will. if not, then her loss.

Very excellent advice. I've talked with about 5-6 different girl buddies of mine today, and they've all said pretty much the same stuff, just focus on yourself, and maybe she just needs to work out her self, more-so.

So I guess that's all I need to do, it just like everything else in life that sucks, came out of nowhere and seemingly had no reasoning behind it.

Kaz is a lucky dude to have you, a girl with her head on seemingly straight, hopefully you can keep that common sense you posess...

it has its flaws sometimes...but, why wouldn't i be able to keep it?

Getting absorbed in somebody can affect your decisions, and how you think., atleast for me it does.

Getting absorbed in somebody can affect your decisions, and how you think., atleast for me it does.

it does for everyone i suppose, but sometimes its better to make yourself happy even if the other person wont be happy, i have a hard time with that

That's one thing I did ontice was becoming selfless around her, which sucks really I was moving too fast.

it really just depends on the situation, but being in a relationship means 50/50, so if she's happy and you're happy, then its all good. but if she's the only one happy and nothing is changing, then nothing is gonna change lol. no point in being in a miserable relationship, you would only end up hurting yourself. i hate my advice, too much truth to it, lol.

So pretty much, Tutti's saying to buy a hooker.

lol i am not! jeez, you could be helpful and give him some advice... :P

it really just depends on the situation, but being in a relationship means 50/50, so if she's happy and you're happy, then its all good. but if she's the only one happy and nothing is changing, then nothing is gonna change lol. no point in being in a miserable relationship, you would only end up hurting yourself. i hate my advice, too much truth to it, lol.

Definately, definately. Atleast it's early on with this relationship.. I mean I am still very confused though with her.. she sent me this text today after sending a few in the morning, asking when I wanted to talk..

"Baby.. i know what i want. N i know what i need... N yea i dont want anything 2 change with u n me..."

That was after I sent her a text saying that I'm always gonna miss her, and that I'd still atleast love to still be friends no matter what... and that I hope she doesn't feel bad or guilty or anything, just that I hope that she knows what she wants for herself.. and from another..

So basically, I'm left hanging still. I mean she did ask me this morning around like noon if I wanted to chill or something later,.. It's just, idk. Awkward, I'ma let the situation just fizzle down right now, already hitting up a few ladies on myspace, and went and hung out with a buddy of mine and two girls he knows so things aren't totally hopeless for me, and if she does come to her senses and wants to get back I'm sure i'd be down for it, and if not, well atleast now i'm working on something else...

1. All girls are whores.

2. Become an asshole and show lack of respect for women and ignore them when they try to talk to you.

3. Insult their favorite things and insist their morals and ideals are nothing but feminine mumbo jumbo.

4. Prepare for all the pussy that is going to be thrown your way.

... is that SERIOUSLY working for you right now? cause i'm guessing you do that. if you do all that and its working, then all the girls you get with are seriously stupid whores. as a REAL girl, i wouldn't give you a second thought.

1. All girls are whores. 2. Become an asshole and show lack of respect for women and ignore them when they try to talk to you. 3. Insult their favorite things and insist their morals and ideals are nothing but feminine mumbo jumbo. 4. Prepare for all the pussy that is going to be thrown your way.

I've been contemplating being a jackass ever since me and my first EX split, and in all honesty it really does work. It's a nice angle to play if what you are doing isn't working. At this point I don't even care anymore, so it would be easier to do. We'll see how things turn out, lol. Girls want a hardass, not a punkass.

So after this long of a time, I still feel emotionally attached to my long-time ex..... IDK what the fuck my problem is. Maybe she is supposed to be the one? .. I had found out like 2-3 days ago that she might be leaving Florida and I had to message her like right away like a fucking pud. Idk.

I'm trying to get over my latest ex.... love is a bitch.

i was like that with my ex of 2 1/2 years. long serious relationships can change a guy completely, i lost alot of my old friends since i straightened out my life and stopped being such a lazy dipshit. nowadays if i go looking for a relationship, i dont just pick the first person i see that's attractive, i make sure i can see myself having a long lasting relationship with that person.

and also, some girls like when a guy is selfless even if its not too far into the relationship, after 1 month with my new girlfriend i was totally relaxed and i could do anything around her, and she didnt dislike it one bit.

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.