Here is what I think you should do:

1. Make a loaf of end pieces of bread.
2. Go stay in a hotel room.
3. Use the end pieces to wipe your ass.
4. Demand that the guy who got you to stay in that hellhole pay the bill for the hotel room and eat the end pieces of bread.
5. Do an irish jig on his lifeless corpse then feed him to the ants.
6. Burn the place down to get rid of the evidence and keep anyone else from ever having to stay there.