Dumb work stories
 

Alrigh so we have Creme de Menthe as a flavor for shakes at DQ. Yesterday this hick came in and said 'Is creamed methane healthy for you?' 'What?' 'Under shake flavors. Creamed methane. How do you get the gas to mix in?' I just shook my head, and made his shake. After that I went into the freezer and began attacking boxes with a knife, as opposed to ripping his throat out for being so stupid. Post your work stories! LOLZ!

Thats really nothing.

So anyways I work at a hardware store, we fill propane tanks in the back of the store. Like 5 years ago there was a national law that makes it illegal to fill non-OPD tanks. The new OPD tanks can't blow up, so on with the story.

In the back of the store we have a fenced in area that we hold old tanks along with the filling place. So this lady rings the bell for me to fill her tanks, I come out back to notice she has her tank, along with an old tank that was sitting inside the fenced in area because its not an OPD tank. She tells me she wants them both filled, I'm thinking well maybe I should be like don't steal our tanks but whatever.

I explain that we can't fill those old tanks and she can't rid of it at the local trash pick up. So she heads inside to pay for filling her old tank. I also explain that we charge 4 dollars, its a 500 fine to throw it out at the courner. She comes back out I fill her tank, and put both back into her car. She just goes in her car and acts like she's looking for something, so I just hang out in the back knowing that she just wants to drop the tank. So she ends up pulling away, I go inside to tell my boss I'm going to be out back for a few he's like whatever.

As I'm walking back out the door, her car comes back around the building, and she decides to go and pay 4 dollars to give us back the tank she took.

We had a latter about 4 1/2 feet tall... and its one of those that stand up on their own. We'll I had the bright idea to jump on top of it and with foot on the top push myself up into the air. I ran as fast as I could jumped landed my right foot on it, all was going to plan, but my momentum was too much for the ladder to keep upright and just went forward then closed caused me to fall backwards right onto it. My ass, back, and head hurt for days.

One of many stories from ToysRUs, like us taking the razor bikes and ramming the x-game ramps in the back, or doing it with bikes, skateboards, playing baseball in the morning, football and me nailing a sign off hanging from the room causing it to fall. Splat all over, couldnt clean that shit up. Me taking a nap covered in stuff animals. We just do dumb stuff all the time

Do you have older employees who follow teenagers throughout the store? Because in King of Prussia, PA me and about five others went into the Toys R Us, made two laps around the store, and the guy kept following us. Well, that was after we had a 2-minute sparring-fest with these foam swords...

lol you may have set off a code geoffrey, which means they are watching you to make sure you aren't stealing

Foam swords??? How can you steal huge toys???

Stick 'em down your pants.

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I work in a big converted mill - now more or less a giant four storey warehouse. We get big orders of shoes, slippers, wellies, boots (Bacup Shoe)... and then toys (Alpha) and so on and so forth. Each of these orders is about 2- to 3000 boxes. We get two or three of these orders a DAY.

So, we've got to stack them on pallets. And, of course, these stacks can collapse. So we shrink-wrap them. Shrink-wrap is like cling film, basically. Except less clingy... and it shrinks when wrapped.

Well, we have lots of fun with shrink wrap; making balls of the stuff and lobbing them at each other (these balls are REALLY hard. Try it with some cling film - make it as tight and round as possible. Make the cling film into a long string, and roll it up. Believe me, it gets really hard).

The BEST fun, however, is shrink-wrapping each other :killgrin: To poles. :killgrin: :killgrin:

You really have got to see a person secured to a pole and struggling before you can say you have truly lived. Highly amusing. :)

Got caught banging a waitress at a bar I mangaged in the basement office. It also happened to be the owners daughter. He chased me out wirh a fucking broom....Ahhh to be young again :p

Well not that you'll steal those, but kids who goof off we usually have to watch

i dont work ):

Get a job ya hippie....

too young, by like a year. but when i turn 16 my parents wont let me get a job because theyre gonna be like ENJOY YOUR CHILDHOOD </asian>

Know how I know you're gay?

Good thing I didn't tell you we were all pole-dancing the other day.

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15 isn't too young to get a job. There's always the paper-round or something. No?

There is always McDonald's. At least it's a start.

i used to work as a hairdresser, and we always gave a head massage to guys after washing their hair, well there were like 2 or 3, they always rested their head on my boobs, i hated that so much, so i tryed to push their head back, but mostly that didnt work. so i told my boss about it and that it was bothering me, he just said to get over it and to be nice to the costumers, well i thought that was pretty fucked up!! :bitch:

You ought to have just stepped back and watched with glee as their heads fell sharply backwards.

well i was young and affraid to lose my job if i would do something like that.
but i should have done that
:jump:

To be perfectly honest, it would've been their own fault. Just say you thought you saw a spider and are frightened by spiders very easily.

now you saying that ;) oh well maybe if i work as a hairdresser again, i will try that. if it doesnt work out i will blame you. :p jk

Meh, you don't know who I am. :) All you'll have is a name. There's got to be a few thousand Lenny's around, and even then, you'll need to know my real name.

:fire: !!! I WILL FIND YOU!!! :fire:

It can't be that hard, surely?

There's various ways in which you can get my IP address, and then you just use some kind of tracking software and stalk, stalk, stalk!

ok i will do that.
and thanks for giving me the hind. lol

Not a problem. That's what I'm here for. :)

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OOoooh! A work story.

We get the big 40' containers in, which I've already said. And, of course, they're driven by hulking truck drivers. Now, when we've got a container leaving, and one waiting to take it's place, things can get hairy. And I'm not talking about the slippers.

Last time it happened, we had two truck drivers going at each other.

"Move the fackin' track mate!" (Sathaner)
"Oi'm closin't doors!!" (Yorkie)
"Ah don't caare! Ah gotta git this dahn be4 faur!"
"Piss off!"
"Fack you!"

We were all in hysterics on the loading bay. I nearly had them both on me when I said "It must be that time of the month again" a little bit too loudly.

I was making a pecan cluster blizzard today, and the guy came back 5 minutes after I gave it to him and said there were no pecans in it. I told him that candied pecans, when hit by a metal mixing spindle at max settings, basically shatter into tiny bits. He still did not understand. I told him I would give him pecans for no extra charge, and he started to get smart with me. Long story short, he yelled at me for a few minutes while I just smiled and told him to have a nice day. I was waiting for him to chuck the blizzard at me, at which point I would have called the cops on his old ass. It's too bad we were busy, my manager really wanted to deal with that (have his fun) but we were short-handed and in a big rush.

Being in construction I bet no one could understand my work stories...but I have one you guys MIGHT get.

I do a lot of dirt work construction (building pads so you can build buildings on them) and so forth. Well, I was building this pond (you dig a big hole, get rocks out of it, put something like plastic liner down, then fill it with water) well you have to pick out the rocks so the liner don't rip cause the water is a dangerous chemical and such can't get into ground water. Well, I get damn near done with this right...and I was getting ready to have a few days off cause I was done...There is an engineer on every job to make sure my guys and me do what we're suppose to (i.e. make sure all the rocks are out) we were done and he comes up "You need to rip up a 1000 sq. ft. section and repick all the rocks out, I'm shutting this down untill you do it" I had been working for ~1 month STRAIGHT no days off. I tells the guy "You got to be fucking kidding. You fucking signed off on it and said it was good to go. You said the pond looked good. My guys should not be punished cause you signed something off and now your panties got in a bind and you want us to pick that fucking section again. (yelling) THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY YOU'RE GIONG TO GET ALL THE ROCK OUT OF THE DIRT. WE'LL BE HERE FOR YEARS(/yellling)

He got all irate for some fucking reason and kicked me off the job =-\

Even if you go to college you can still be stupid GRRRRRRRRRR

Hey man, that's tough. It's life for yah. I see how some people can keep their cool all the time, but damn, it's pretty hard. I would be pissed off if I had been working 30 days straight, especially bruntwork.

God, since I started working at the Guest Service Desk at work I see all sorts of idiots come through. The main thing we do up there is returns and such, and usually it goes smoothly...but you have those few special cases where you feel like throttling the person.

A few months ago a lady came by with her Meijer Card Bill and a box of hair dye. Lucky me, because I was the one who got to help her, and it took an insanely long time to do so, and I was growing increasingly exasperated throughout it.

She pointed at her bill and asked me why there was a $25 late charge on her bill when she sent a money order down to Florida* on the day it was due. Conversation went (Somewhat, I don't remember exact wording anymore. You'll get the picture, though.) as follows:

Her: "Why did they charge me $25? I sent them the money."
Me: "I'm not exactly sure, ma'am. I'm sure if you call their help line you get hold of someone who can tell you why it's there."
"But I don't know the number."
"It's on the back of your credit card. Actually (I proceed to pull out a car application and point out the number for her), this is the number as well.
"Oh...But why did they charge me? I sent them the money the day it was due."
"I'm not sure. If I had to guess, I assume that the money order took more than a day to get to them. You'll have to call the number to be sure."
"But I sent them the money."
"...I know. You'll have to call them to see why the late fee is there, because I don't know why.
"Oh...Well, since I'm here, can I put some money on my bill?"
"Of course! Do you have your Meijer Card on you?"
"No, I just need to put $25 on it."
"Oh, actually, we can't do it unless we have your card to slide through our computer. It won't work otherwise."
"But I don't have it."
"You can't pay the bill without the card."
"But I just want to put $25 on it."
"...You can't pay the bill without the card."
"But I don't have it."
"I'm sorry, but the computers won't let you pay for the bill unless we have the card itself to slide through the machine. If you want to go home and get the card and come back with it, then you can pay the bill. We don't close the desk until 11pm."

By then she paused and just stared at her credit card bill, and I had the sneaking suspicion that she was going to ramble about her late fee again, so I snuck off to help another customer. Shanika, another of the service desk girls, and currently on maternity leave, was filling cigarettes at the moment and the woman asked her if she could trade her hair dye for a different color. Shanika told her that she could, but she had to return it first since the numbers on the barcode were different, and that she could repurchase the hair dye with the gift card she was going to give her. I was then told to go on my last break when I heard the woman say "But I just want a different color..."

I ran for it.

*We don't even have a Meijer down in Florida, much less a corporate building for customers to send their bills to.

Methinks your plan to overcharge customers and take their money for yourself has been rustled! Quick! To the Levi-athon!

What type of daft person sends the money ON the due date and expects it to arrive on the same day? The DUE DATE is the date it should get there, stupid moron.

Why not just get some kind of automated billing system that takes the money out of your bank account for you?

As my boss says: "The customers are fucking idiots."

That's a real quote, even.

Thank you, that was amusing.

Oh, on not-so busy days we like to have airsoft wars in the grill and drive-thru area. Either that or we stick M-80s into bananas or ice cream cones.