I find this entertaining.

The President of the United States addresses the public.

My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed.
Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.
This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.
I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed.. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who oppo ses this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin." Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic. God bless America. Thank you and good night. If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.

Is this real?

It doesn't sound real.... but it would be nice if it was..

Where'd you get it?

If that's real then that would be fucking awesome!

The first bit sounds real indeed...yet the rest seems to get more and more absurd. Wouldn't put it past Bush though...

Where did you get it?

It's not real, no. I also wouldn't put these things past Bush, but there's no way congress would support him on such rash decisions. It was posted on the bulletin board in Alpha Company. I think it's a creative idea to show people what America does for the world and how ungrateful some schmucks are. Like I've said I hate people who want a perfect world, and don't want to work for it. Of course everyone on the face of the planet wants peace and knows that it would be the best for all mankind, but it's much easier said than done.

Sounds like his arrogance. Certainly he is not THAT ignorant. Close, but not quite.

I hear he wants to go to war with IRAN.

I hear he wants to go to war with Jeb because he stole W's fucking lunch money.

He would never admit his loss like that.

You're all missing the point. I know Bush is an idiot. This isn't supposed to be delivered from Bush, it's a fictional speech, perhaps an Inaugurational Speech by the Bush's successor. It's obviously not by Bush because there are words that have more than 5 letters .

That's a great thing to say at the inauguration ceremony...

At least we're on List 1...sidetrack though, I can vividly remember Bush giving a speech before the G8 summit that went along the lines of: "Thanks for helping us in Iraq Britian, we appreciate it, but we're not gonna help much in G8 as this is a one-sided relationship. Quid pro quo guys, quid pro quo."

Heh heh heh...I love what's said about France in the speech.

http://emosong.ytmnd.com/

I didn't miss the point. It's the close minded thinking like that that shows how ignorant we Americans are to the situation in the world. Live it up, we may be a world power now, but it won't be forever. I honestly hope that no one on this board is that stupid to think this "is a good idea".

http://emosong.ytmnd.com/

The long haired blonde in the middle is fuckable, and the chick to the right of her is pretty hot, too. Lol unless that's a dude, in which case I need to find some live ammo fast.

Bottom left one reminds me of Shinto Katana

Whatever happened to Shinto?

He's one of the members who justs seems to have faded out of existence...

He just got sick of zel and all of the dumbasses..... I talk to him online all the time :-/

There aren't really any major dumbasses left.. one just got himself perm banned, so.

There aren't really any major dumbasses left.. one just got himself perm banned, so.

Your old sig was better.