Shitty Date, Lmao

This wasn't from me, I just read and thought of sharing it with the rest of you, pretty funny, read up!






We have all had bad dates...but this takes the cake. This just tells you how tough it is to be single nowadays. This was on the "Tonight Show" with Jay Leno. Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There is absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter ... snowing and quite cold...and the guy had taken her skiing to Lake Arrowhead. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were heading home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte.

They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her pee beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car. They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. Unfortunately, in the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking.

All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor she answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and in need of some assistance"! He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem.

Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender. As for the Tonight Show ... she took the prize hands down ... or perhaps that should be "pants down." And you thought your first date was embarrassing. Jay Leno's comment - - - - This gives a whole new meaning to being "p---ed off."

Ew. That's one hell of a bonding experience...

Ew. That's one hell of a bonding experience...

LOL. Her butt bonded to the car. You made a funny.

That is a hell of a story. The other day I went over a chick's house and locked my keys in my car, rofl. That was a nice start to the evening. All ended up well, at least .

That is a hell of a story. The other day I went over a chick's house and locked my keys in my car, rofl. That was a nice start to the evening. All ended up well, at least .

Your story sucks after reading the first one. You shouldn't have even posted about it. Without you pissing on some chick, the story is worthless.

Without you pissing on some chick, the story is worthless.

Seriously.

Piss or gtfo

Hot carls count too

Your story sucks after reading the first one. You shouldn't have even posted about it. Without you pissing on some chick, the story is worthless.

Yea well, at least mine is from personal experience =P. Not everyone has peeing experiences =(.

heard the story before, found it funny as hell

Great story.

Can't believe nobody has made an R. Kelly reference yet.

References

1. ^ Tracks possibly intended for Loveland, which appeared on the bootlegged version include:
1. "Spirit" (appeared on Happy People/U Saved Me)
2. "All I" (unreleased, but sampled by Mannie Fresh on his 2004 track "Lady, Lady")
3. "Leap of Faith" (appeared on Happy People/U Saved Me)
4. "Make Me" (appeared on Chocolate Factory under the title "You Knock Me Out")
5. "Fly" (extended opera influenced version of "I Believe I Can Fly" as used on the TP-2 Tour)
6. "The World's Greatest" (was already released on the Ali OST)
7. "(Step) In The Name Of Love" (appeared on Chocolate Factory in both original mix and remix versions, which was a No. 1 R&B hit)
8. "Love For Me" (renamed "Far More" and was available on the bonus Loveland CD with the first pressings of Chocolate Factory)
9. "Somethings Never Change" (unreleased, a very 1970s Stevie Wonder-like track)
10. "Forever And Ever" (appeared on Chocolate Factory under the name "Forever")
11. "You Bring Me Joy" (unreleased, a soulful bedroom ballad)
12. "Make You My Baby" (track given to Joe, appeared on his 2003 album And Then...)
13. "Come to Daddy" (originally part of the BOBW tracklisting, unknown if this would have been on Loveland)
14. "Kiss You In Those Places" (unreleased, appeared on original TP-3: Reloaded tracklisting, but not final album)
15. "More and More" (track given to Joe, was a single, and appeared on his 2003 album And Then...)

* ^ [1]
* ^ Lamb, Bill. "R. Kelly Records "Rise Up" - An Anthem for Healing in Aftermath of Virginia Tech Shootings", About.com, 2007-05-04. Retrieved on 2007-05-09.
* ^ a b c d e "Controversial R. Kelly Sex Case Finally Goes To Trial", 4Control Media, 2006-10-12. Retrieved on 2007-02-21.
* ^ Grossberg, Josh (June 5, 2002). R. Kelly Rung Up on Porn Charges. E!. Archived from the original on [[2006-05-04]].
* ^ Grossberg, Josh (September 28, 2005). R. Kelly's Marital Woes. E!. Archived from the original on [[2006-04-20]].
* ^ "Update: R. Kelly Hearing Postponed", 4Control Media, Oct. 13, 2006. Retrieved on 2007-02-21.
* ^ "R. Kelly Misses Court After Surgery", The Associated Press, 2007-02-08. Retrieved on 2007-02-21.
* ^ http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Musi...rss_topstories
* ^ Jolene Petipas. "R. Kelly Accused of Assault & Stealing Songwriting Royalties", 2006-10-05. Retrieved on 2007-02-21.
* ^ [2]

Now that everyone has had a laugh about this, i'm gonna go ahead and report this whole story was fake, and the Woman on Jay Leno was a hoax. It's on some Urban Legend website. Still funny though.

I bet it's happened before or something close.

For a while in high school I was called "T.R.Kelly" - funny story, actually.

I wouldn't be proud of that man.

Did I say I was proud of that? No, I said it was funny. Which is why I received a lot of shit for it by my friends lol.

I was called TL, and that was bad. Sounds like a good time.