On Suicidal Thoughts

These are just some of my random thoughts that I had when I read a reply from Surreal. He said something about having suicidial thoughts. Now, I appologize if this comes off as too harsh. And Surreal, this is no way directed at you but at anyone on this board who's had suicidal thoughts, myself included. Really, I've read too many things about having suicidal thoughts from you guys, and although I can sort of sympathize with you because I guess I've been through the same thing, I just wanted to throw in my 10 cents on this topic.

First off, why? I know every anti-suicide website says this, but believe it or not, there has to be someone out there who's going to be deeply hurt by your death. Hell, if nobody else, I'm sure there would be some people on Zelaron who'd be upset by it. When I was around eight years old, my mother had a growth on her lymph node. Everyone, doctors included, thought it was cancer. Doctor's said that she most probably had cancer. Obviously the whole family was devestated. It turns out we were one of the lucky ones. My mother didn't have cancer. Now, around a year ago, I was in the car with my mother, and was talking to her about the time-period. She told me that she cried to work every day. I asked her why. I thought it was because she was afraid of her own demise. She said at first she was a little sad about that. She said that she didn't want to die yet, but then she said what she thought about most was how me and my sister were going to look when we got to college. Now, I can't replicate the conversation with my mother, but it was a life-changing conversation. Back then I was having a pretty turbulent time with my parents, and yes, even at 12 you have monster fights with your parents. But that conversation put everything into a different perspective for me. I used to think that my parents wouldn't give a damn about what happend to me. That conversation made me realize how stupid I was to even think like that. It's just dumb. Maybe you're not as lucky as me, and you're parents aren't as great as mine, but I swear to god that there is at least one person who will give a damn if you die. You could ruin their life. Taking your own life is selfish.

Secondly, what's bad enough to make you take your own life? Suppose you're correct on god. Now, if you commit suicide, you spend the rest of eternity in the pitts of hell. If I'm right, you just die. You waste away the one chance you have because of something that would seem very stupid in retrospect. Why would you let something stupid like some bitch (yes, if she makes you feel suicidal then that's what you call her) make you feel like that? You have to be better than that. Plus, you're young, and it's ignorant to think that you're going to feel like that about her forever. Why let somebody else have such a negative effect on your life? Only you are in control of your life. Leave it at that. You, and perhaps your family, know what's best for you, nobody else.

I've also heard about people feeling suicidial over grades. Now, perhaps your parents are the type who excessively care about grades, but you have to realize that grades are nothing but a number. You get out what you put in. That's it. I honestly don't believe it is an accurate measure of your intellect, of anything else of that matter. It's simply the best system that we have thus far to make sure we are learning. Now, as I said before, grades are nothing but a number. Do you really want to kill yourself over something that superficial? Even though your whole life revolves around it right now, they'll get better. In fact, if it's that bad, why not put in some more effore instead of moping around. I swear to god that has to be a better alternative to suicide.

Now, bullies are a whole 'nother story. Those kids are just dumb. Seriously, they have nothing better to do than make fun of how you dress, how you talk, your culture, or some other superficial things like that. They have nothing better to do. They have no life. It's dumb to let them have any effect on you whatsoever. One thing you have to understand is that they can say whatever they want to say about you. It's obviously not going to influence any true friends that you have, and if you don't let it get to you then bullies get nothing out of it. You win without having to do anything. When you get pissed off, on the other hand, it's more likely that they win. You have to keep your soul at ease, because once they get hold of that then they win. You can't let that happen. Don't give in to such childish behavior. Ignore it and move on. There are better things to do.

Now, I know that there are a huge list of things I could go into, but I don't have the most time on my hands right now. Still, there is one more thing I must address.

People who slice their wrists. If you slice your wrists, I have no sympathy for you whatsoever. If you slice your wrists, you're looking more for attention than anything else. If you're going to commit suicide, do it properly. None of this swallowing a bottle of Tylenol and throwing up shit, take a gun to your head and pull it. If you somehow survive that, then I'll have sympathy for you, but otherwise you're just looking for an excuse to get attention, and I could give a damn less.

Those of you who are feeling sucidial, feel free to share. It's best hearing and discussing. Others here should probably be kind to the person who feels that depressed, because really we've all been through a low point in out life at some point or the other, and we really don't need anyone belittling us for it. Only thing you shouldn't share with me if you're suicidal is about you slicing your wrists, because I swear upon the name of Thy Holy Mother I will rip you to shreds. That's annoying, but otherwise feel free to share. Those are just my random thoughts on the matter.

I don't think Zelaron might be the best choice for a support group, no offense but if you rely on a gaming forum for life advice you might have more than just suicidal problems in your life. But I guess if you need some help someone should always be there for you.

On taking your own life, its your choice. If you think your life really sucks and you want to die go ahead. Why do you think its your right to burden other people with your shit. This applys to people who constantly talk about suicide, and always need help with it. Either see a Doctor or fucking do it. If you don't think that there is reason enough for you to still be living then end your life. But, I find it hard to belive that you couldn't find just one small thing for in your life that makes you want to live. Shit it could be as simple as trying to impress a girl to get some number of post counts on a gaming forum.

Bah thats it for now, maybe tomorrow I shall reflect a little more on the topic.

too long... don't feel like reading... listen to MJ, suicidal thoughts is bad for your health.

I read the first little bit and I agree with you completely. No support group though(if that's what it was about) that's just stupid...

Heh, I've honestly never had suicidal thoughts. I am comfortable with dealing with everything life throws at me. I know people care about me, and that feels good. I actually had a really close friend of mine tell me she was contemplating suicide at my party over the weekend. We had a really good, long talk, and I think I hit her with some good points that would deter her, but then again, I'm not positive if she was just playing along with the conversation or not. I don't think she was, but who knows anymore...

Aparently during their lifetime, everyone seriously contemplates suicide. There'as and average figure somewhere, but I can't find it.

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I think I'll have to agree with MJ about cutting wrists.

There's a lad in my form, he says he's gay etc. (in fact, there's a great story about this, I'll add it on to the end of the post), and last year, no in Year 8, he kept on saying he was gonna commit suicide and shit, he kept on running a scissor blade over his wrists and shit like that. And man alive was he attention seeking. First of all he says he's gay, ATTENTION SEEKING, when he is obviously not, and then he says he is about to commit suicide. Wtf?

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OK, so he said he was gay. One lunch he was sat on his bill talking into his mobile. When someone asked what he was doing, he said he was talking to his bf. So, we rang his mobile, (don't ask how we had his number, just one of those things, probably for prank calls etc) and it rang in his hand. And did we laugh.

That whole post was too hard to understand..

No shit. You suck ass, Lenny.

As for suicide: Life's a garden, dig it.

I think everyone should commit suicide...that way, everyone dies!

Life's a garden... dig it.

Life's cocaine...inject it into your system and get all hyper and happy!

Yeah, I see what you're all saying. I know that suicide hurts other people if you do it and all that shit. *shrugs* They're just thoughts, they usually fade away over a couple of minutes or less, so I just sort of ignore them.

On the topic of cutting wrists. There's really two kind of people who does this. There's the attention seekers who just try to act "goth" and say that their life sucks and everyone hates them, blah blah blah. They're the fuckasses who wanna be something they're not. Then you have your people who truly have depression. Depression is a disorder, and so technically, cutting themselves may be a symptom. They have no control over their depression, unless they take meds, which has now been found out that the meds may cause suicidal thoughts.

I've been through the whole cutting wrist thing, life sucked over the summer. I'm over it now. From my view, though, people who are truly feeling like shit don't cut themselves to get attention. I know a lot of people who've done it, and still do it, even though we've got them help. All of them did it without anyone knowing, as a personal way of releasing stress, or some other reason. I went through it, and I'm pretty sure the only person I told was Insolence, and he called me a dumbass. XD He was right, but it did help release stress. *shrugs*

I guess I'm just saying there's two types of people that cut. There's the poseur fucks who do it to get attention, and there's people who do it out of pure personal matters, and don't advertise it. Just a thought~

Well, what I don't understand is why would you cut your wrists? If you're honestly depressed, what are you getting out of slicing your wrists? If it's suicide you're looking for, then their are much easier ways, not to mention a lot less physically painful.

As for the truly depressed people, I feel sorry for them. I really do. They're missing out. But they need to find a better way of dealing with the depression, wouldn't you think? Lets say that we want to think of depression as a disease. When you have something like Strep Throat, you don't run off and slit your wrists. I don't see how depression is any different. It's not like if you're depressed your wrists simply open up by themself, you make a conscious choice to cut them. Of course I wouldn't know too much in depth about it, because I've never really been like that.

Another thing is, I don't see depression in most people as a disorder. I just see it as them feeling sorry for themselves, which is quite natural, and escusable, but I don't think it's a medical condition in most cases.

I would honestly like to know how slicing your wrists makes you less stressed. If anything, I would think it would make you more stressed. Your hand would be in pain, and you'd have to clean the blood stains off. Also, if you're really doing this just to relieve stress, wouldn't you be scared of the slight possibility that you actually slit the artery and end up bleeding to death? I really don't understand. Perhaps you can fill me in.

I'm really not sure how it did. It just calmed me down a lot when I did it and sort've made me feel like I had a purpose, with all the blood and stuff. *shrugs* I don't really see how depression is a disorder, either. But I'm told it is, and I suffered from it, supposedly. I feel fine, now. I did hit the artery (sp?) once or twice on accident, I know it sounds dumb. Sometimes I'd get so hysterical and uncontrollable I would take the closest thing that was sharp enough to draw blood and do it. It was really saddening, now that I think about it.

I was really bad for awhile, but I didn't go around showing people or talking about it. It was a private matter that no one really needed to know about. I think I told Insolence at my lowest point when I really did feel like I should've killed myself. I'm glad I didn't. I think for awhile I was just delerious and a stupid kid~

That's my input, anyway. If you don't understand, just ask, I s'pose.

About the pain, I didn't really feel it. I don't know why, but I guess the adrenaline rush it gave me felt good, so I didn't feel the part that's supposed to hurt. *shrugs*

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.

Mj...you are very young, and are very innocent still. The world isn't...lets say a perfect place with perfect mental people. IM sure some people on here have been abused as a child...raped, molested. Making them isolated from people. People who cut themselves(yes some do it for attention), but the really fucked up people with their past lives, their brain isn't lets say "normal", they think differently, they WANT to hurt themselves. They feel comfort in pain, which is what been happening to them when they were still a child. They feel that they are in control. Some people don’t even want to live. Some people get over their past life as a lesson, but then break down from real life’s problems, problems they cant handle because they were isolated for such a long time. Their mind isn't with people that are normal. Its very hard to explain, but you will soon find out.

Well, I'm pretty sure I can assure you that I will never slice my wrists. If I wanted to commit suicide, I'd make sure it was quick, and as painless as possible. A bullet to the head would do that trick.

And you're right. I don't at all understand why someone would choose to cut themselves, especially on the wrists. If you're a masochist, or you simply don't like not hurting yourself, there are plenty of less life-threatening ways to do it. I understand that not all people have had a perfect childhood, but that to me just seems like another excuse. I know a couple of people who have been raped, one of the kids who got raped as a child, and she doesn't go off and cut her wrists. If it's pain you're looking for then why not something a little less threatening?

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.

One lunch he was sat on his bill talking into his mobile.

The fuck.

To openly tell people you've been raped and shit, is a sign for "attention". Sympathy... Real people..real problems, dont talk about what they do. Dont tell anyone they cut, dont tell anyone they wanna kill themselves. People who dont do that dont need help, they need to stop wanting attention and to grow up. But the quite ones, that just sit there all day depressed ndd just wants to die, thats someone who needs help. And its sad, but there are people who are really fucked up, and need help, before they do..do something to hurt themselves--to forever change their life. Either death or ODing, mentally disabled, etc.

Agreed for the most part.

One part I don't agree about, though, is where you said that people who've been raped don't tell anyone unless they're looking for attention. That's not true, and if it is, it's certainly not good. In fact, I've felt suicidal before, and I've talked about it with a friend, and it certainly was not for attention. I just needed someone to talk to.

Now the girl who told me she was raped said she had never told anyone before. Eventually I got her to tell her dad, and that has to be a good thing, right? There are people who're suicidal or who've been raped/abused that don't keep shut, and that's not a bad thing. You can usually tell when someone is being sincere or when someone just wants attention.

The people who mope around all day, quiet, lonely, by themselves in a dark corner of their room who constantly want to die need more help than the others. They need to open up about it. It's best if you have someone to talk to, I would think, family, friends, whoever. That's why I say they need more help. Once they can open up to some people, it probably alleviates some of the pressures they have.

Shinto is refering to Jess, who said she was raped. Of course, if she shares something with anyone it's for attention.