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Weird Al - Generic Blues
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I woke up this mornin',
Then I went back to bed.
Said I woke up this mornin',
Then I went right back to bed.
Got a funny kinda feelin',
Like I got broken glass in my underwear,
And a herd of wild pigs is tryin' to chew off my head.
You know what I'm sayin'?
Well, I ain't got no money,
I'm just walkin' down the road.
Said I ain't got no money, honey,
So I'm just walkin' down this lonely old road.
Well, I wish I could get me some money,
But I forgot my automated teller code.
I was born in a paper sack, in the bottom of a sewer.
I had to eat dirt clods for breakfast, my family was so poor,
My daddy was a waitress, my mama sold bathroom tile.
My brothers and sisters all hated me,'cause I was an only child.
I got the blues so bad.
Kinda wish I was dead.
Maybe I'll blow my brains out, mama.
Or maybe I'll, yeah, maybe I'll just go bowlin' instead.
I'm just a no-good, scum-sucking, nose-picking, boot-licking, snivelling, grovelling worthless hunk of slime.
Nothin' but a low-down, beer-bellied, bone-headed, pigeon-toed, turkey-necked, weasel-faced worthless hunk of slime.
I guess I've got a pretty low self-image,
maybe it's a chemical imbalance or something.
I should probably go and see a doctor about it when I've got the time.
Plagues and famine and pestilence always seem to get me down.
I always feel so miserable whenever I'm around.
I wish somebody would come along, stick a pitchfork through my brain.
I'd flush myself right down the toilet, but I'd just clog up the drain.
I got the blues so bad,
Kinda wish I was dead.
Maybe I'll blow my brains out, mama,
Or maybe I'll go bowling.
Or I just might go bowling.
Maybe I'll just rent some shoes and go bowling.
Maybe I'll join a league, enter a tournament, put on a stupid-lookin' shirt and go bowling,
Instead.