Don't get me wrong, I love weed. I LOVE IT! But not as much as I love pussy.
-Thurgood, Half Baked
You guys gotta get me out of here! There's this guy Nasty Nate who wants my cocktail fruit, and everyone here likes fresh fish! Then The Squirrel Master came out of left field and told me I'm his bitch!
-Kenny Davis, Half baked
Scarface: Don't worry, man. All we gotta do to get you out is to get ten percent of ten million dollars. Which by our calculations is...
Brian: ...Fucking impossible, man!
-Half Baked
I don't do drugs, though. Just weed.
-Thurgood, Half Baked
In eleven days I'm as good as skewered! Ever take your clothes off and run backwards through a cornfield?
-Kenny Davis, Half Baked
There are three things that Black people need to tell the truth about. Number one: Rodney King should've gotten his ass beat for being drunk in a Honda a white part of Los Angeles. Number two: O.J. did it! And number three: Rosa Parks didn't do nuthin' but sit her Black ass down!
-Eddie, Barbershop
See, in my day, a barber was more than just somebody who sit around in a FUBU shirt with his drawers hanging all out. In my day, a barber was a counselor. He was a fashion expert. A style coach. Pimp. Just general all-around hustler. But the problem with y'all cats today, is that you got no skill. No sense of history. And then, with a straight face, got the nerve to want to be somebody. Want somebody to respect you. But it takes respect to get respect. Understand? See, I'm old. But, Lord willing, I'd be spared the sight of seeing everything that we worked for flushed down the drain by someone who don't know no better or care.
-Eddie, Barbershop
This ain't no Goddamn school of the blind, Calvin! This is the barbershop! The place where a black man means something! Cornerstone of the neighborhood! Our own country club! I mean, can't you see that? Hell, that's the problem with your whole generation. You know, y'all... you don't believe in nothin'. But your father, he believed in something, Calvin. He believed and understood that something as simple as a little haircut could change the way a man felt on the inside.
-Eddie, Barbershop
Boy, look, look! Look! Your daddy may not had a whole lot of money. Oh, but he was rich, because he invested in people. What'd you think? You think I was the only one he gave a job to, Calvin? No! That man opened up the doors to anybody and any knucklehead around here in the city of Chicago that wanted to come down here and make somebody out themselves. Gave the opportunity to be somebody! A licensed professional barber. Now, me, myself, personally... I wouldn't gave half these bail-jumpers the opportunity. But, you know, it's just hard enough. You sit in there and try to cut somebody's head and gotta worry about this fool over there trying to shank you. But let me tell you somethin'. At the end of the day... the end of the day, I was glad I was here.
-Eddie, Barbershop
For one brief embarrassing moment, I chose to give up. But your words were just the reminder I needed. Perhaps insignificant to you, but sometimes I think we're unaware of how the little things for us can be so huge for others.
-Samir, Barbershop
Boy: [to Jimmy] You cut a patch in my head!
Eddie: Shane, look over there! He cut a patch in the li'l boy head; got him lookin' like "101 Dalmatians." You ever heard a' that movie? He look like a Dalmatian! That's one hundred an' two!
-Barbershop
Ricky: We don't need reparations! We need restraint!
Billy: "Restraint"?
Ricky: "Restraint"! Some discipline! Don't go out and buy a Range Rover when you livin' with your mama! And pay your mama some rent! And can we please, please, *please* try and teach our kids something other than the "Chronic" album? And *please*, Black people, try and be on time for something other than free before eleven at the club!
-Barbershop
Paul Edgecomb: On the day of my judgment, when I stand before God, and He asks me why did I kill one of his true miracles, what am I gonna say? That is was my job? My job?
John Coffey: You tell God the Father it was a kindness you done. I know you hurtin' and worryin', I can feel it on you, but you oughta quit on it now. Because I want it over and done. I do. I'm tired, boss. Tired of bein' on the road, lonely as a sparrow in the rain. Tired of not ever having me a buddy to be with, or tell me where we's coming from or going to, or why. Mostly I'm tired of people being ugly to each other. I'm tired of all the pain I feel and hear in the world everyday. There's too much of it. It's like pieces of glass in my head all the time. Can you understand?
Paul Edgecomb: Yes, John. I think I can.
-The Green Mile
Arlen Bitterbuck: Do you believe that if a man repents enough for what he done wrong, than he'll get to go back to the time that was happiest for him and live there forever? Could that be what heaven's like?
Paul Edgecomb: I just about believe that very thing.
Arlen Bitterbuck: I had a young wife when I was eighteen. We spent the summer in the mountains, made love every night. After we would talk sometimes till the sun came up, and she'd lay there, bare breasted in the fire light... that was my best time.
-The Green Mile
Whenever I despair, I remember that the way of truth and love has always won. There may be tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they may seem invincible, but in the end, they always fail. Think of it: always.
-Gandhi, Gandhi
An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.
-Gandhi, Gandhi
I AM NOT GOING TO BURY MY SON! MY SON IS GOING TO BURY ME!
-John Q, John Q
My son is dieing, and I'm broke. If I don't qualify for Medicare, WHO THE HELL DOES?
-John Q, John Q
I would tell you what I think of you, but I am a Christian woman.
-Denise, John Q
It's not what's in a kid's backpack that makes him dangerous, it's what's in his heart.
-Val, Bang Bang You're Dead
Last edited by Demosthenes; 2004-03-28 at 12:33 PM.
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