World Record Thread

hmm..any 1 got sum good jokes?

i got a few GOOD ones..but they are racist..so i dont wanna get banned..

i got a few GOOD ones..but they are racist..so i dont wanna get banned..

yall heard that song by the big tymers- still fly?

yall heard that song by the big tymers- still fly?

it is a good song..u should d/l it..the background music is Gilligan's Island

it is a good song..u should d/l it..the background music is Gilligan's Island

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the
local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my
husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very
embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you.
I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will
motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a
good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing
this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the
ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the
hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr.
Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is
your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards
Mrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr.
Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not
notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few
motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her
husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore
him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that
goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half
and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the
local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my
husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very
embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you.
I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will
motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a
good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing
this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the
ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the
hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr.
Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is
your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards
Mrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr.
Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not
notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few
motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her
husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore
him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that
goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half
and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.

Gator boots!!!

Gator boots!!!

Originally posted by Killah i got a few GOOD ones..but they are racist..so i dont wanna get banned..

i think aslong as u take them as just jokes, and u dont personally believe them, it should be ok

Originally posted by Killah i got a few GOOD ones..but they are racist..so i dont wanna get banned..

i think aslong as u take them as just jokes, and u dont personally believe them, it should be ok

lmfao!!!!

Originally posted by Wiccan][V][asta lmfao!!!!

lol yah i love that one. one of my all time favorites :]

Originally posted by Wiccan][V][asta lmfao!!!!

lol yah i love that one. one of my all time favorites :]

lol nice joke

lol nice joke

FUN THINGS TO DO IN A PUBLIC BATHROOM

1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your
neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."

3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence
with a bodily function noise

4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh shoot! My glass eye!"

6. Say "Darn, this water is cold."

7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a
cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh
relaxingly.

8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it
erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while
yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!!"

11. Say, "Interesting....more sinkers than floaters"

12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of
toilet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor.
Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?

13. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!

14. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"

15. Say, "Darn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small.
Now what am I gonna do?"

16. Play a well known drum cadence over and oven again on your
butt cheeks

17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your
"Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to
the adjacent stall.

18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it
so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing
"Born Free."

FUN THINGS TO DO IN A PUBLIC BATHROOM

1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your
neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."

3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence
with a bodily function noise

4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh shoot! My glass eye!"

6. Say "Darn, this water is cold."

7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a
cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh
relaxingly.

8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it
erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while
yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!!"

11. Say, "Interesting....more sinkers than floaters"

12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of
toilet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor.
Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?

13. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!

14. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"

15. Say, "Darn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small.
Now what am I gonna do?"

16. Play a well known drum cadence over and oven again on your
butt cheeks

17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your
"Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to
the adjacent stall.

18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it
so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing
"Born Free."