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Posted 2004-09-27, 06:39 PM in reply to Thanatos's post starting "I actually laughed at this: If you..."
Go ahead, hate me.
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Randuin is neither ape nor machine; has so far settled for the in-between
 
 
Randuin
 



 
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Posted 2004-09-27, 06:47 PM in reply to Randuin's post starting "Go ahead, hate me."
I propose a new forum: "The Childrens Section"

People like Lenny can post there.
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Penny_Bags enjoys the static noises of ten television sets simultaneously tuned to 412.84 MHzPenny_Bags enjoys the static noises of ten television sets simultaneously tuned to 412.84 MHz
 
 
Penny_Bags
 



 
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Posted 2004-09-27, 06:50 PM in reply to Penny_Bags's post starting "I propose a new forum: "The Childrens..."
And we can insult them like their parents. Hopefully setting them straight for society (Flame Forum)
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Randuin is neither ape nor machine; has so far settled for the in-between
 
 
Randuin
 



 
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Posted 2004-09-28, 10:37 AM in reply to Randuin's post starting "And we can insult them like their..."
Randuin, what you mean worse than 9/11 fill me in? SOmething that I said or Geekstar? Or are youn talking about me? I don't know anymore. Oh well, more...

----------

I'll stick some jokes in, thought they were good, so added them to my verbial repertoire.

----------

Joke number 1:

A blonde and a brunette were sitting on their red settee in their flat watching the news. Neil Armstrong had just landed on the moon. The blonde looked at the brunette and said:

“We were first on the moon, not him.”
The brunette agreed.

“We were the first in space as well.”
The brunette agreed.

“And we’ll be the first on the Sun!”
“Er … we can’t do that. The Sun’s too hot,” said the brunette.

“Oh that doesn’t matter,” replied the blonde, “we’ll just go when it’s night time.”




Joke number 2:

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a nice blonde and a fat woman were sharing a train compartment on a train. After a while the train went into a tunnel. WHACK! Someone had hit someone. When they came out of the tunnel, three people could see a slap mark on the FrenchmanÂ’s left cheek, and one certain Frenchman could feel it. Oh, of course, the four people started thinking. The nice blonde thought:

“That Frenchman must’ve laid his hands on the fat woman mistaking her for me in the dark, so she hit him.”

The fat woman thought:

“He must’ve laid his hands on the blonde and she slapped him.”

The Frenchman thought:

“That Englishman must’ve laid his hands on the blonde and in the dark, she mistook me for him and slapped me.”

The Englishman thought:

“I hope we come to another tunnel soon so I can hit that French swine again.”

And last but not least;


Joke number 3:

Erm...thatÂ’s it. Here is the last joke you will see in my book folks. Enjoy:

Did you hear about the Irish shoplifter?
He was found dead under Asda.
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Lenny simplifies with no grasp of the basicsLenny simplifies with no grasp of the basicsLenny simplifies with no grasp of the basicsLenny simplifies with no grasp of the basicsLenny simplifies with no grasp of the basicsLenny simplifies with no grasp of the basics
 
 
Lenny
 



 
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Posted 2004-09-29, 09:02 AM in reply to Lenny's post starting "Randuin, what you mean worse than 9/11..."
I dislike you.
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Thanatos simplifies with no grasp of the basicsThanatos simplifies with no grasp of the basicsThanatos simplifies with no grasp of the basicsThanatos simplifies with no grasp of the basicsThanatos simplifies with no grasp of the basicsThanatos simplifies with no grasp of the basics
 
 
Thanatos
 



 
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Posted 2004-09-29, 11:13 AM in reply to Thanatos's post starting "I dislike you."
I would post more crap, it's just that kinda flushed it down my loo. Don't worry, I'll get it back. I leave you with this whilst I do. I call it, I HATE RELIGION!!!!

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I disagree with any religion that has a God. I disagree with any religion that then worships that so called God, and I disagree with any religion that says God exists. GOD DOES NOT EXIST (for those religious people out there, who are reading this and belong to a religion that believes that there is a God that exists and that worships him or her, you really should not be reading this. I am going to be on this subject for a long time. Do something useful whilst I tell the rest of my non-religious readers my views. Thanks)! That is my view and you cannot change it. Not even if the Lord himself (who, may I remind you does NOT exist) smote me as I sit and type this. Come on Mr. Lord sir, smite me.

IÂ’m waiting.

Doo-bi-doo-bi-doo.

La la la.

Nope. I still live. Unfortunately for you religious people. The Lord must be too busy listening to someone praying to him. I can give various supporting the fact that God, does not exist. Here are a few of them. If you in any way disagree with me, then feel free to write to me and point out my mistakes. If you donÂ’t write to me then I canÂ’t ignore you. So go on, write an argument to tell me IÂ’m wrong. Thank you. Now my arguments (you will notice I talk about God as It, this is because It has no gender so is an It):

Your leader of your religious community tells you that God existed before everything was created. Yes. Well if there is nothing there for It to be in, then how can It be there? It is not logical or right. The unwritten laws state that if there is nothing there then there is nothing. End of story. If you donÂ’t believe me just sit down for a few minutes and think. Something youÂ’ve never done before. Just think. How can there be something when there is nowhere, and nothing to support it and let it stay, and let it live. Eh? Just think what nothingness would look like. I can just about think what it would look like every so often when I have had a stress free day and am feeling over the moon, but even then it is hard to do, you get a glimpse of it for a split-second and then try to remember what it looked like.

Anyway, what created God? Matter cannot spontaneously create itself.

Another argument. What was before the so called God to be able to create it? If It was there before everything else, then what came before It to be able to create this nothingness, and later on It? ItÂ’s not possible. You canÂ’t just pop into existence. It is, as I have already said, not possible. Again think about it. How can a being, supernatural or human just pop into existence?

Third argument. Science has so far proven that things need an explanation. They work in a certain way, which is then explained in a way so complicated that it has to make sense otherwise it would not exist. Same with It. There has to be an explanation of why It is there, and if not then It is not there. Also how was It created? Many ideas have been put forward as to how things were created. For example, scientists say the Universe was created by the BIG BANG. It might please you to know that I disagree with most of these explanations that are about to follow and need 100%, rock solid evidence of how they happened. They say that a large explosion of compact energy caused the Universe to form. Impossible. How can a small compact amount of energy create something so big and complex? And how can that small explosion of compact energy exist in complete, pure nothingness? Impossible. Before you say that God did it, read this. Since I have already said there is no such thing as nothingness, It must have created the Universe, whilst inside the Universe, yet It could not have done this as when It started creating the Universe, the Universe was not there for It to be inside to create. So how did it happen? Another thing that scientists say is that the Universe is expanding each Earth year. This is impossible. First they need to know how big the Universe is at this moment in out time. Infinitely big. So how do they know where the Edge of the Universe is? They donÂ’t Another thing the would need to know, is the existence of nothingness outside the Universe, of which the Universe can expand into. How the heck do they know that? There is no such thing as nothingness, so the Universe cannot be expanding into it. Another thing they would need to do, is to travel to the end of the Universe and measure how much it expands by each year. This would too be impossible because the Universe is infinitely big, meaning it has no edge because it goes on for ever. They are at the moment digging a large hole for themselves, and I seem to be helping them along. ItÂ’s nice to know that the thing you believe to be the answer all things is being slowly destroyed by none other than you. So far, I this little argument, I have said that God does not exist and have given some reasons for me thinking that, I have also said the Universe is impossible, therefore saying it doesnÂ’t exist, saying that we are all figments of our own imaginations, which in turn do not exist. Oh, and I have killed of a few scientific theories that I thought were right until I got onto the subject of religion. If it wasnÂ’t for this thing called religion I wouldnÂ’t be having this darn argument and I wouldnÂ’t, to put it into words some of you should know, killing me softly with my words. Brilliant. And now I will stop for a bit. You religious people can join us again now, if you still like me. Thank you.



I am going to go back to the subject that I have just completely and utterly mucked up, except not as harshly this time. Religion. In my little dictionary next to my computer religion is defined as:

1) a system of belief
2) belief in and worship of a supernatural being or God.

I am going to use the first definition to prove that atheism is itself a religion. My dictionary defines atheism as: belief that there is no God. I have underlined belief because it is important. Now then, most religions believe in a supernatural being, and one believes in a supernatural force. I will let you work out who. These religions all believe in a different form of what the Christians call heaven, and a different form of what Christians call Hell. Have you noticed that that word, belief, crops up in different forms in all of my statements. I could give you the statements in different ways, but not without much thought of how to phrase the words so that they mean more or less the same thing. From these statements, and many others that are floating around you can make many different conclusions, including:

A religion is based on belief. If you said to someone that there was a God, and they didnÂ’t believe there was but thought there was, they would not belong to any religion because they donÂ’t believe. Now then, atheism is the belief that there is no God. Therefore atheism, even though it states that religions are bogus and around for no reason, that they believe in a made up figure, yet atheism itself is a religion, because it believes that there is no God, it believes that all religions are wrong yet it is a religion so it cancels itself out. It is there, just like all other religions, for no particular reasons. I come back to you religious people, if you have not been reading this then you can come back now I have ranted myself out.
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Lenny simplifies with no grasp of the basicsLenny simplifies with no grasp of the basicsLenny simplifies with no grasp of the basicsLenny simplifies with no grasp of the basicsLenny simplifies with no grasp of the basicsLenny simplifies with no grasp of the basics
 
 
Lenny
 



 
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Posted 2004-09-29, 11:45 AM in reply to Lenny's post starting "I would post more crap, it's just that ..."
Lenny, quit posting all-together.














Quote:
!King_Amazon!: I talked to him while he was getting raped
[quote][16:04] jamer123: GRRR firefox just like quit on me now on internet exploder[quote]
...
[quote=!King_Amazon!]notices he's 3 inches shorter than her son and he's circumcised [quote]
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D3V is convinced there are no coincidences, only the illusion of coincidencesD3V is convinced there are no coincidences, only the illusion of coincidencesD3V is convinced there are no coincidences, only the illusion of coincidencesD3V is convinced there are no coincidences, only the illusion of coincidencesD3V is convinced there are no coincidences, only the illusion of coincidencesD3V is convinced there are no coincidences, only the illusion of coincidences
 
 
D3V
 



 
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Posted 2004-09-29, 11:49 AM in reply to D3V's post starting "Lenny, quit posting all-together."
Aw, but it's fun. I could be given my own forum to post all my crap, but instead I have to post it here. Anywhere, the post works. I don't have enough fingers to count how many people I have annoyed with this thread. You oiught to try it sometime. Let go of all anger you may have.
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Lenny simplifies with no grasp of the basicsLenny simplifies with no grasp of the basicsLenny simplifies with no grasp of the basicsLenny simplifies with no grasp of the basicsLenny simplifies with no grasp of the basicsLenny simplifies with no grasp of the basics
 
 
Lenny
 



 
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Posted 2004-09-29, 04:29 PM in reply to Lenny's post starting "Aw, but it's fun. I could be given my..."
54645645646
I use to be a shoe shinner now I sip Aunt Jamima, I go to sleep in Europe and wake back up in China. CLUB 977 The 80's Channel!!!!! -winamp radio is heaven on earth
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zagggon is neither ape nor machine; has so far settled for the in-betweenzagggon is neither ape nor machine; has so far settled for the in-between
 
 
zagggon
 



 
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Posted 2004-10-06, 02:22 PM in reply to zagggon's post starting "54645645646"
I'm getting bored, so I thought I'd revive the thread.

----------

Let's see..........

----------
PSYCHO: He he he. Ha ha ha. Ho ho ho.

SCIENTIST 1: Guess what scientist no. 2.

SCIENTIST 2: What's that scientist no. 1?

SCIENTIST 1: I do believe, scientist no. 2, that he (pointing to psycho), is a pyscho.

SCIENTIST 2: And why do you think that scientist no. 1?

SCIENTIST 1: Well for a start scientist no. 2, he has got psychopath written on his hat.

SCIENTIST 2: Well I'll be. Well done old boy.





There are three stages to drunkeness:

1. Everything is piss funny. You see a toilet and laugh at it. Wait, hey toilets are kinda funny. He he he. Toilets.

2. The Professor stage. You act as if you know everything, coming up with weird theories and statements, only one or two of which people like.

I FOUND MY STAGE OF DRUNKENESS. YAY!!!

3. Paranoia. You think that everyone, including the toilets are out to get you. You alos look at your beer, see instead a giant orange carrot, and fall off your stool screaming.





He he he. Geekstars rap is kinda funny. He he he. Never tried doing chinese raps before. Maybe I should do one about Nixon and Bush. Any ideas anyone?
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Lenny simplifies with no grasp of the basicsLenny simplifies with no grasp of the basicsLenny simplifies with no grasp of the basicsLenny simplifies with no grasp of the basicsLenny simplifies with no grasp of the basicsLenny simplifies with no grasp of the basics
 
 
Lenny
 



 
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Posted 2004-10-06, 02:28 PM in reply to Lenny's post starting "I'm getting bored, so I thought I'd..."
Nixon and bush, yea uh huh. Yea uh huh. Turn me up on the headphones. Turn up my headphones man. Alright now let the beat dropÂ… uh here I go. Mic check 123. Yea uh huh. Turn up my headphones nigga!! Yea uh huh, I need some water nigga IÂ’m thirsty. How you expect me to rap when my throat is dry. Alright here I go, Nixon Bush, uh huh uh huhÂ….
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kockblocker1 is neither ape nor machine; has so far settled for the in-betweenkockblocker1 is neither ape nor machine; has so far settled for the in-between
 
 
kockblocker1
 



 
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Posted 2004-10-06, 02:30 PM in reply to kockblocker1's post starting "Nixon and bush, yea uh huh. Yea uh..."
Right. Welcome to the group Mr. Kockblocker. You are #3 in the fastest growing crap speakers club in the world. Would you like your official badge now, or then???
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Lenny simplifies with no grasp of the basicsLenny simplifies with no grasp of the basicsLenny simplifies with no grasp of the basicsLenny simplifies with no grasp of the basicsLenny simplifies with no grasp of the basicsLenny simplifies with no grasp of the basics
 
 
Lenny
 



 
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Posted 2004-10-06, 02:39 PM in reply to Lenny's post starting "Right. Welcome to the group Mr...."
How can you people stand this thread?
I use to be a shoe shinner now I sip Aunt Jamima, I go to sleep in Europe and wake back up in China. CLUB 977 The 80's Channel!!!!! -winamp radio is heaven on earth
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zagggon is neither ape nor machine; has so far settled for the in-betweenzagggon is neither ape nor machine; has so far settled for the in-between
 
 
zagggon
 



 
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Posted 2004-10-06, 02:45 PM in reply to zagggon's post starting "How can you people stand this thread?"
Well, I can stand it, as I made it.
Geekstar is in heaven, he thinks he has found his soulmate.
Kockblocker is just joining in the fun.
Everyone is just taking it as an excuse to bad mouth the crap that is Lenny.

I think you are all too tense. Come on people. Go crazy. Post crap. That's why I'm here.
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Lenny simplifies with no grasp of the basicsLenny simplifies with no grasp of the basicsLenny simplifies with no grasp of the basicsLenny simplifies with no grasp of the basicsLenny simplifies with no grasp of the basicsLenny simplifies with no grasp of the basics
 
 
Lenny
 
 

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