A little help?

Alright, at my school I am running for Mr. South Valley Jr.High and i will be doing these things in front of judges for the title at our winter pep rally assembaly.

Here are the categories:

1. Beachwear(im going to like find some kind of swim suit and put my hair in pig-tails because its long enough for that, just make it funny)
2. Best dressed(my friend has a pimps-suit and ill wear that with girls around my arms)
3. Talent- Must lip sync a song(if i get a good song my friends and I will make some dance moves to it and we'll dance in front of the school like as a joke, last year we did The Safety Dance by men at work)
4. Dramatic Reading- Comical, somewhat winter related. I have not found anything yet. I basically want to find a serious poem or short story that i can read and make fun of in front of my school.

any ideas?
you guys have always been the most creative.

Can I ask why your school faculty wants to see little boys running around in speedos?

I just didn't want to ask.

It sounds like you're doing it just for the crack of it.

Winter-related poem:

Snowball

I made myself a snowball,
As perfect as could be,
I thought I'd keep it as a pet,
And let it sleep with me.
I made it some pyjamas,
And a pillow for it's head,
Then last night it ran away,
But first...

(indicate to the rest of the school that they are to shout out the last line of the poem)

...it wet the bed!

Don't forget the little girls, too!

Horrible, yet I still laughed.

wow dude thanks i might actually use that lol

is it sad that i lauged at that poem? its like 11am leave me alone

Everyone laughs at the poem! It's a humorous poem.

Jeffrey the Dog

I once had a dog named Jeffrey
But one cold day he left me
O, he always barked up a storm
O, why wasn't it warm?

For my dog
Lost in the fog
Where art thou
I have made a vow

The monin' that I find muh Jeffrey
I'll get him some tea
O, my Jeffrey
He left me


While singing this you must be dressed up as Colonel Sanders

that was non gay

Shutup, kid.

you're too cute

Stabbity mc stab stab

Alright so our 3rd one is the lip sync thing with the group of friends and we're kinda having trouble finding a song thats pretty appropriate and we can just make up some hilarious dance moves to. We've got ideas yeah but nothing over the top.

Feel free.

Does it have to be Winter themed?

Do the dance moves have to be appropriate?

Alright so our 3rd one is the lip sync thing with the group of friends and we're kinda having trouble finding a song thats pretty appropriate and we can just make up some hilarious dance moves to. We've got ideas yeah but nothing over the top. Feel free.

Bringing sexy back.