The Brave Little Slayer

The toaster backed into a corner, whimpering lowly as he muttered for his master over and over again. But now the menacing figure drew closer, an axe in tow. But still the toaster, that brave little toaster, kept hoping that master would come save him. Master had before, had he not? Sure the master used the blanket for a cumrag and eventually got rid of him because he began to grew things that weren't embryos. Sure the vacuum cleaner came apart and instead of fixing him the master threw him away into a stream on one of his family outings. Sure the radio and the lamp met untimely deaths at the hand of master's children. Wait, fuck. Master didn't care about the toaster. That poor, brave little toaster.

“Poor lil' bastard don't know his time is up. Don't worry, master won't come save you.” he bellowed, grabbing his axe fondly.

“Y-y-you don't know that!” the toaster retorted.

“Oh, I do lil' one. Because I chopped him the fuck up and turned him into jam! Jam that had been put on the last piece of bread you toasted!” the axe man yelled with a toothy grin.

The toaster felt sick. So sick, in fact, he began to throw up! Nasty bits of toaster insides covered in oil and crumbs! Everywhere! Seriously, every-fucking-where! It was like in a comedy movie, man. Spraying all over the goddamn place and—oh, right breaking the fourth wall. Anyway, he whined and shook his head, shouting out contradictory statements. The man who did carry an axe laughed maniacally. But the toaster feel something deep within his little toaster heart and heated coils that felt like a message. A message that says “Fight.”

The toaster took a stance and reached for a katana that had not been there at the moment before he made his movement and was totally -not- a deus ex machina! The man sneered a little and kicked dirt at the toaster.

“You're a lying shit!” the toaster cried out, feeling a blush that only a toaster can feel when its an animated tale as he said a dirty word!

“Well, come and fight me and find out.” he retorted.

“I'll kill you Maytag!” the toaster hurrahed, taking the offensive and coming at Maytag.

He swung his katana and was blocked by the axe. Maytag laughed and kicked the toaster away, bringing down his axe while the toaster managed to block it from meeting with his side. He managed to find the strength to push Maytag backwards a few steps, using the opportunity to run forward and slice Maytag's feet off. He fell to the ground and dropped the axe, screaming out in agony.

The little toaster approached, grabbing him by the hair and yelling “WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MASTER YOU FUCKING DOUCHENOZZLE CUMBUCKET?”

Maytag simply repeated his story and gave him proof by noting that one of the master's teeth were in the jam and the shape and whatnot matched. He sighed heavily and cut Maytag's head off with one swipe. He looked back at way out, slowly marching off with a sulk. With master gone, he had no reason to live. No reason to go on.

So the brave little toaster committed seppuku and took his katana through his little toaster sternum, immediately dying. No one knew about what happened because this franchise got milked the fuck out. The End

since you posted in the chatbox.

ilu2 d3v

Can I buy the tl;dr version?

Nigga this short enough as is.

Is there a moral?

Bewbs ) . ( ) . (

No. He kills an Aussie and then himself.

And boobs.

No. He kills an Aussie and then himself. And boobs.

Oh, CSB!

Can I buy the tl;dr version?

Can I buy a longer version?