Computer Certifications?

Experience > any degrees you can pay for.

Honestly d3v if you can teach yourself you don't need to go through that red tape. Granted if you do have certifications it will help, but if you can land a solid year + of some kinda of remedial computer work, thats all you need my friend. Get your foot in the door, fancy up your resume, work your ass off, and never ever stop learning and you can do whatever the hell you want. And always remember, it's not about what you know, it's about who you know.

"Nepotism is favoritism granted to relatives or friends, with no regard to merit." - Wikipedia