How to raise a Delinquent! Ten easy steps!

1. Begin in infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way, he will grow up to believe the world owes him a living.

2. When he picks up bad words, laugh at him. This will make him think he's cute.

3. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait until he is 21, and let him "decide" for himself.

4. Pick up everything he leaves lying around -- books, shoes, clothes. Do everything for him so that he will be experienced in throwing all responsibility on others.

5. Quarrel frequently in his presence. In this way, he will not be too shocked when the home is broken later.

6. Give a child all the spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own way. Why should he have things as tough as you had them?

7. Satisfy his every craving for food, drink, and comfort. Denial may lead to harmful frustrations.

8. Take his part against neighbors, teachers, policemen. They are all prejudiced against your child.

9. When he gets into real trouble, apologize for yourself by saying, "I never could do anything with him."

10. Prepare for a life of grief. You are going to have it.