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Fat... Cheese Danish...
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Posted 2002-03-08, 08:01 PM
This article was inspired by what happend to me today. Well, I was feeling rather EXPECTONAL today and I had a craving for some cheese danishes from the closet cornor store.


I started WALKING , yeah walking, its pretty close. When i got there, who do i see? 3 men stuffing a bag full of MY CHEESE DANISHES. Me, having the poor sight that i do, moved in closer only to see it wasent 3 men but 1 man, and that wasent an odanary bag, it was a garbage bag!

I was pretty upset at this so i proceeded to throw random things at him ((Gum, Candy, Lotter tickets, the little lotto pencil they give you to make out those do yourself tickets)). Anyway, I now learned fat people anger quickly when there food is in danger... He kinda looked like her But a man, and he wasent wearing a bikini obviously...

ANYWAY, thats what happend to me today and im angry. I really think fat people should lose some weight because they are a danger to themselves and others , and they eat ALOT more food then NORMAL people.

I thought of an idea tho for us skinny people to get back at them huge people. EVERYONE gets in on this huge plan to sneak into ALL fat peoples food. This way everytime they eat, they are losing weight! Now if we can get the politicans in this, we can make it a requirment that all fat people take a fat pill at least once a day or 1 pill for every pound you are over 300, soo people weight 500 would take 200 pills a day!

Now then we get into LIPSUCTION.. err this is very nasty, BUT! Ive got another idea, We suck all the fat outta the fat people and feed it to the really skinny people, this way everyone will become normal. Now some of you are saying "EWWW why eat FAT" Well well! ill tell you, because its fatning... Now if your normal weight.. 100-200 , then you need not worry but if your under 100 then you better be prepared to suck that fat down!

Now to help you understand what a fat face looks like i will make these very complex asciiiiiscidsfi drawings

( 0 0 )
( * ) Fat
( ------ )

(0 0)
( * ) Skinny
( -- )

( 0 0 )
( * ) Normal
( ----- )


ALl of you fit into One of these categorys...

Also i belive that fat people should only be able to eat fat mice

Because fat mice and fat people are alike, therefore they should eat eachother

Music, Should only be listend by NORMAL people, Fat people will only be able to listen to fat music

And in the music they talk about weight loss, it is a requirment for any fat music

Also, like i said before, fat people get angered easily over food. If you try to take there food! OH THATS A MISTAKE! they may Bite, Eat, Murder, Slay, etc to you...

The best advice i can give you is to carry a tbone steak in your pocket at all times, and if you are attacked throw it... They WILL run for it

Now you may be asking "Im deaf how can i insult or call someone fat" Well simple just use this


I will end in this, We should not Shun fat people, because we are there only hope, some call them animals, i call them fat humans, either way they are still fat. Should we cage them all and feed them like hamsters and force them to run in a wheel like a hamster and then build a tunnel of tubes and have Fat Mazes and race them in big places...... Of course.. Not, that would be wrong! yes wrong, We should rather make them diet and help them on the rode to succsess! NORMALNESS!...

Last edited by GravitonSurge; 2002-03-08 at 08:33 PM.
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