It's sad...

To all of you who think that this is PM material, feel free to not reply here. To all of you who want to flame, get off topic, or make gay comments, *cough*Titus and Shinto*cough* feel free to go get a life and leave me out of it. To all of you who care how I feel, and why, here are my thoughts. I hope the recording of them here help set my mind at ease.

I always knew the day was coming... I even knew the date for a good long while, but it never really set in until just now.

Last weekend, I went to a last little mini-lan with some friends. I was tired. I wasn't really in the mood, but I went anyway. I went because it was the last one we'd get to have for at least a long time. Of course I had fun with my friends.

Wednesday, I packed up all my stuff. I packed nearly everything I had, save for the bed and large furniture. I left my Coca-Cola stuff at home, because I figured we wouldn't have room for all of it in the dorm room. I filled the living room with stuff that I was taking to college with me.

Thursday, I went to see Kristy to work out when we were going to meet Friday morning to leave. I ended up staying at her house last night. We laid together on the bed in the guest room for half an hour and just held each other. I set my alarm, and she went to bed. I mis-set the alarm, however, and got up an hour early. I went to her room and spent the extra hour holding her.

This morning, we drove to Matt's (randomthought; my roomate)house. We loaded his stuff in my truck and said goodbye to his family. We stopped by my house before running some quick errands we had to do before leaving town. We went back to my house, and I said goodbye to my mom.

The three of us came to Arlington. Matt and I went in and got our keys. We filled out the forms and started to move in our stuff. That took a while, but we finally got it done. Then we started arranging our room. It really started turning out great.

Later, Ashley (Matt's girlfriend) showed up. We unloaded the rest from the car she was driving and set up the room a bit more. Then we went to eat and do a little shopping for miscelaneous things (toothbrush, deodorant, etc). We got back to the dorm about 10:30.

After that, we all just layed in here and watched Leno. I finally started to realize that I wasn't living at home anymore. Laying in bed with Kristy, I realized that I wouldn't be able to see her as often soon. Sure, I will be visiting home next Thursday through Sunday, but I won't be able to visit every weekend. I'll start having more to do here, and I'll only be able to go every other week, then once a month after that.

Yes, I'll get to see her, but it's just so sad. I am now living at college. Kristy is also living at college, but she's not here with me. We're both starting real life, and it's far too soon. I do not wish to start high school over. I just don't want to have to be this far apart. She's only two hours away now, but in two years, Kristy is transferring to California. Then there will be a 28 hour drive separating us.

I cried in the room, and I finally got ahold of myself. The girls got up to leave around midnight. We walked them to the parking lot, and I started to cry again. Kristy told me it would be okay, and I know it will. It's just sad that I won't be able to drive right over and see her now. It's not that much farther, but this is the start of something that will put us further apart.

I don't fear for one second that our relationship will fail. I love Kristy so much that I will do anything to keep us together, and I know she loves me too. I just know that I'm going to be a lot more lonely without her around so much.

To all of you in a relationship: Cherish what you have. Love and enjoy every minute of it. There will come a time that you won't be able to have quite as easy access to it as you wish you had. That time for me is now. I wish I could run outside right now and see her, but I can't.

Kristy, I love you more than words can explain, more than pictures can portray, and more than hands can impress. Only the heart can truly express how much love I have for you, and I plan on doing everything in my power to show you that love. I'm sorry that we can't be together all the time now, but I plan on fixing that in the future. I love you. I love you. I love you.