And now, my daily blog

I shall be posting a page from my diary every day. Or as often as I remember to.

Today's entry is from 04/02/2010

Dear diary,

Today my anti-semitic father and I went to the park for a stroll to get some ice cream. Along the way we saw a really slutty girl throwing frisby to her dog. Her chest was wet, so you could pretty much see her tits. Straight women have no shame. She did have an ass though. Well, while staring at her, my father slapped my back, yelling "Andy, I see you found a pretty young girl to ogle!" I jumped a bit and had to laugh it off. He'd probably die if I told him I'd only do her if she had an 8" dick.

Resuming our walk, we saw these two Arab looking dudes just chatting. Instantly I knew that my dad was going to blow a fucking gasket. I grabbed him and tried to drag him away, telling him that he could go to prison and whatnot. He wasn't going to have any of that and immediately yelled out "Hey, you stupid fucking Iranian niggerjews! What do you think you're doing?" I remember feeling terror crawling through my body, but the worst part of it was this: why was my dad using an insult that sounds like it would come off the internet?

They looked at us with a grunt and a "huh". Then dad yelled at them again "I said what the fuck do you think you're doing?" That's when one of them started to walk at us, the other one just standing there, watching. I quickly tried to encourage him to run away, mentioning possibility of arrest. The guy who came was probably my age and had some luxurious hair. It was like, super gorgeous and sooooo straight. I want to run my fingers through it and smell it. I bet it smells like hash. Well, anyway, the guy strolled up and said "Sir, I'm not Iranian. I'm not a...black person. I'm Israeli and thus, yes, a Jew. Is there a problem with me just chatting with my friend?"

Of course, that lit my dad's fuse. He started to shake with rage and shot the Israeli guy a middle finger screaming, "Yes, because you're wasting valuable space and oxygen for us normal people, ya fucking kyke!" Then faster than I could even blink, the Israeli guy knocked my dad down and then proceeded to beat the piss out of him. We ended up having to call an ambulance it was so bad. Bruised ribcage, had to get 3 stitches on his forehead, and a cut lip and several other bruises. Serves him right. Also, while waiting for the ambulance I exchanged numbers with that guy. I figured he was gay in like, a minute of meeting him. His name is Ben. Yeah, I managed to suave him over by telling him I hate my dad and have a Jewish fetish. I'm smooth like that.

Well, diary, it's time to give it a rest so I can go tend to my dad's injuries and probably play some Xbox. Deuces!