WARNING: Horrid conversation.

So, this is an excerpt from a particularly foul discussion a friend and I had over MSNIM a month or two ago. The names of the people mentioned have been changed, so as not to possibly anger anyone. Just to clarify, Joe is a friend of ours and Mike is his older brother. Enjoy!

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Raziel: All MMORPGs are crap.
Case: Pretty much.
Case: Galaxies might be cool. And Planetside looks cool, but it's a gigantic shooter, not an "RPG".
Raziel: Galaxies will ONLY be cool because it's Star Wars.
Case: Yes, if Galaxies wasn't Star Wars, it would eat retarded hippo ass.
Raziel: Not just regular hippo ass either!
Case: RETARDED hippo ass.
Case: It's worse because they don't try and clean it.
Raziel: ...like Joe's mom...?
Raziel: ...I'm sorry.
Raziel: I had to.
Case: Eew.....
Case: That's okay, Joe's mom might be nice, but she's still one of the most horrible creatures in the country.
Raziel: I realized something today.
Case: Eh?
Raziel: I found out that you can stand in Joe's living room for less than five minutes, without actually TOUCHING ANYTHING...and come out stinking like vomitous ass.
Case: Well, you touch the carpet and the air touches you.
Case: That's well more than enough.
Case: It hasn't gotten WORSE, has it??
Raziel: ...
Raziel: ...
Case: IT HAS?!?
Case: That...
Case: That's NOT POSSIBLE!
Raziel: ...
Case: IT CANNOT BE!
Raziel: Here's the "paradoxical situation"
Raziel: The house is actually CLEANER than it's been in a while, but the smell has escalated to a freakish degree.
Raziel: I think it's like the rainforests. We cut them down and by doing so we release all kinds of awful diseases that were once contained by the thick foliage.
Case: Oh eew.
Raziel: All the clutter was actually holding the stink back.
Case: I think that entire house needs to be quarantined and moved to Yucca Mountain.
Raziel: Or shot into the sun...
Case: But the chances are that would cause some horrible chain reaction that would cause the sun to go super nova or something.
Case: I don't think filth like that can ever truly be destroyed.
Case: Just buried very, VERY deep
Case: Or shunted into another dimension or something.
Case: Maybe there's some horrible alternate reality where stuff like that is normal.
Raziel: Maybe we could just fire it AWAY from the sun and send it flying to another planet? Make it their problem instead of ours?
Case: That's always possible too.
Case: As long as it isn't in this solar system, it won't be a problem for a long time.
Raziel: Wait...what if it starts an intergalactic conflict?
Case: Oh crap....good point.
Raziel: What if the other planet attacks us in retribution?
Case: That's probably the cosmic equivalent to biological warfare.
Case: Saddam has smallpox, we've got Joe's house.
Case: Arson might always be an option.
Case: But then they would get another house and after a few weeks, it would be just as bad, if not worse.
Raziel: I just had an awful epiphany.
Case: Eh?
Raziel: What happens when Joe and Mike SPAWN?
Raziel: They will create more houses of horror!
Case: Well...Joe isn't that bad, because he doesn't smoke.
Case: Sure, it would be filthy, but it was just be cluttered as hell and wouldn't stink THAT bad.
Raziel: And he doesn't really have sex anymore.
Case: That was my second point.
Case: We certainly don't have to worry about him spawning for a while.
Case: What about Mike?
Raziel: Julie...
Case: Is he still banging...*shudder*...Julie?
Raziel: Yeah.
Case: Oh, dear god.
Case: In the name of all things good and holy.
Case: I'm not sure I know words to describe what that is.
Raziel: I do! It's like a gorilla that smokes fucking a ten year old boy that smokes!
Case: I don't think a language exists that can accurately describe the TRUE horror of that.
Case: But that's a pretty good start.
Case: God, that's fucking gross.
Case: I didn't think anyone could EVER be that desperate.
Case: Even Joe thinks she's frakky.
Raziel: Joe's standards are slightly too high for his current situation.
Case: But, as evidence with Mike, too high is much better than too low.
Raziel: Good point.
Case: I would prefer him to be sexually frustrated and whiny rather than him banging something like Julie.
Raziel: Banging and BRAGGING.
Raziel: Hahaha!!
Case: NO!
Case: Mike does NOT!
Raziel: No, he doesn't.
Case: Okay, good.
Raziel: I juast wanted to see your reaction.
Case: That would just be the end.
Case: I would have to kill him.
Case: And I'm not kidding.
Case: I would burn him alive.
Case: In a giant wicker man.
Raziel: "Dude, we humped for like five hours and then we ate a bunch of cigarette butts."
Raziel: "It ruled."
Case: LOL!!!!!
Case: Ate cigarette butts!! HAHAHA!!!!
Case: That's fucking genius.
Raziel: So God damned disgusting. Chunky-style Mike and zero-calorie Julie porking each other...
Raziel: Uggh... sweat running through his flab folds...
Raziel: GRAY sweat, tainted from the tobacco smoke...
Case: The sound of her ribs straining, like an insufficient load bearing beam.
Raziel: Jesus...I almost typed something far too foul to be uttered.
Case: What?
Case: You'll have to write it now that you said that.
Raziel: His tannish/grayish duck butter running down his ass crack all over her wrinkly snatch.
Case: Uggh.....
Case: Tannish.....*shudder*
Raziel: Christ, we need to stop this.
Case: No kidding.
Case: I'm losing points off my Sanity score for every second we keep this up.
Raziel: I need to finish off a Chattur'Gha Zombie and get a few points back.