I never really said hi...

Profile · Posted 2008-05-23, 01:44 AM

I just did a search for all my old posts, and I realized I never had a thread here. So, I guess, you guys get to know me more than what you do.

First off, I was born in Paramount, CA. in 1986. I have lived the first few years of my life in a ghetto area, probably until I was about 6. My father split and moved to Kentucky. I visited him and lived out there during my 3rd grade school year. Then, because he was a dirty bastard and only cared for his welfare, I came back to California. I lived in Downey for a few years, then I moved to Tustin. I pretty much moved about once a year, so ever since the 4th grade I was in a different school. Williams Elementary (4th), Unsworth Elementary (5th), East Middle School (6th), Ranchero Middle School (7th), Dwyer Middle School (8th), Huntington High (9th), Sultana (10th & 11th), and finally Options For Youth where I just dropped out because of some sort of confusion over my credits. Ranchero and Sultana were in Hesperia where I would usually spend my summers with my grandparents, but its desert, and I hate the high temperatures. I's likes it cold. Now I live in Huntington Beach again, with my parents. I consider myself quite lucky that my parents are entrepreneurs, because I worked for them since I was 18. I also didn't get my license until I was 18 because driving never really interested me, and neither did cars. I would rather play my video games and stay inside and never have to run or stay in the sun because I sunburn easily, and it does a major number on me. But recently, that all changed and I seem to be addicted to cars.

My first vehicle was a 1991 Ford Aerostar that I loved to death. I used to drive this to this ROP class I was taking called Odyssey Instructional Television. It was a real working TV studio that taught high school kids what it was like to work on TV. More on that later. The automatic transmission kept blowing a front seal so we had to change it at least twice a month. Me and my brother could pull that transmission in uner 15 minutes we got so damn good at it. Hell, we even rebuilt the damn thing once. Only after getting rid of it did we find out someone else was having the same problem and he informed us Ford had recalled them. That sucked big dick. My next vehicle was a 1997 Ford Explorer. It got reposessed because my parents also got a car from them, and they were behind on their payments, helping me make mine, because I didn't really work for pay from them. They told me, and I quote, "We took your's (holy shit that looks wierd) because we can't get the other one, and we didn't want to out on both of them!" I was 3 days overdue on $96. As in, I just paid the other $100-something, and was actually going to be in that weekend with the rest. But, whatever, that Ford was having problems with it as well. It took half a tank of gas to get from Hesperia to Ontario. I don't care if its a damn Ferrari, half a tank of gas is too much to be using for approximately 80 miles of travel. Anywho, my next vehicle was a Nissan Pickup, that my brother usually drove. He lowered it to the frame, and installed a loud ass bass system. Being as it was the high desert, not too many people lowered their cars because the city doesn't take care of its streets, so there is pot holes everywhere and they are super hilly, so most slammed cars scrape thier bumpers and what have you. For some reason though, we started seeing little slammed pickups everywhere. But they weren't the ones you see in magazines, with the shaved door handles and awesome paint jobs, these were work trucks with large rigs custom welded half-assedly into the back of these trucks that carried lawnmowers or windshields or paint stuff. I guess you would have had to have been there to see it. Anyways, my next car was actually a car, and it is my current baby, my Mitsubishi Eclipse. So far, I have only changed the radio and removed my passenger seat to fix it, 'cause it doesn't slide forward and the people in back have no leg room. I have only street raced once with it, and it was against my brother in his Ford Ranger ('01 I think). I felt really good because I was at the top of second gear and was pulling away from him, but when I shifted to 3rd, I missed it, and he started pulling ahead of me. That made me feel good, because mine is only a 4 cylinder 2.0 liter and it was beating his truck. I figured the weight of his truck was offset by the larger engine, so we were about even as I see it.

Now on to my music. I used to only listen to Country music, because for most of my life, that's all I heard. My sister had turned my brother onto rap through Tupac and Salt N' Pepa and that stuff, and slowly I joined the "dark" side. This was before Tupac was dead, as I vaguely remember, but my brother vividly remembers my sister crying over his death. By the way, so far all the "brother"s so far refers to my younger brother Dustin. I have 4 total and my older sister. As of late, I have taken a liking to more rock stuff, as it has this adrenaline inducing beats and word combination. Songs like Right Now or Twist by Korn, Bodies by Drowning Pool, or Down with the Sickness by Disturbed. Maybe its just 'cause my other brother, Brandon gives them the amped, in-your-face, off-the-wall dance things to them. But either way, they put me in a good mood and I feel like jumping around too.

I haven't had many friends growing up, because of the fact that I don't like people. They seem to decieve at every chance they get. I was a loner in my later school years (8th-11th) because I spent more time watching the other kids. I studied them, trying to figure out why people are the way they are. What causes so-and-so to do this or why does this girl stay with this guy after that? I never kept a journal, because I didn't want people to think I was some psycho stalker dude, but I kept mental notes. I noted how people interacted, body language, gestures, even things like facial movements. Also, I haven't had many friends because I feel that the word 'friend' is over used in today's society. Just as 'love' is, people over use it, and the word seems to no longer mean what it used to. The idea of a 'friend' is someone you trust and have the utmost respect for, as do they for you. Friend only has meaning if it is mutual. There is no, "Oh, he's sorta my friend..." and there is no such things as best friends. If you have a best friend, then that means you have a worst friend, which goes completely against the idea of a friend. Same as love. People use if for everything. Love has grown into a word that falls short in today's society, and the idea is lost. This generation is under the false view that we are a newer, better generation that is allowing for greater diversity, and acceptance. But honestly, who is unique? Who among anyone in the world can say they are truly one of a kind? If you stop and think about it for one second, you will see that it is impossible to be truly unique. Who would want to be a one-of-a-kind anyways? If you were truly the only person with a certain belief or interest, or way of thinking, you would live a lonely life. Not saying we aren't individuals or that we are being "used by the 'man'/government" but we follow this idea so much that we lose track of the fact that there is other people in the world like us. You start doing for yourself, to better your own personal position, and forget that you aren't a singular being in this existence. As far as I am concerned, the world isn't fucked because of the greenhouse gas bullshit, it's because humans can't seem to think for anyone other than themselves. We have grown from our hunter/gatherer communities where we provide for our people as a whole, to further our lineage, to this self-centered individualistic collection of communities.

Now, let me explain what I meant when I said in the other thread about you guys being my only friends. I know D3V said sorry, and I tried to let it go, but I can't help but think that you guys think I have no life. The reason I think of you guys as my friends is because I have been here for so long, and because you guys know me more than anyone else I am around. It wasn't saying it like an emo in a depressed mood, it was like giving you guys (the majority of you who have been here a while) a compliment. I know many people, but they are acquaintences (sp?). If I have a problem with something, I know I can come here, discuss it, and get an equal number of people who poke fun as well as respond with compassion. That's what I expect of friends. I would WANT someone to make fun of my situation and tell me I am over reacting or something, as well as people who tell me what to do in my situation. Everyone responds to the same situation different, which is why our diverse-yet-similarly-interested group is the best out of any forum on the web, in my opinion. From the people who's intellectual jibberish makes almost no sense to me, yet I seem to understand it perfectly, to the people who intentionally push buttons to piss people off, you guys are as close to friends as I have ever had in real life.

Now, back to my brothers, the youngest is Cameron, who I don't get along with at all. He is 16 I think, I don't really care. Brandon is next up the tree at 17 and the one I am the closest with. Next in line is the one I am next closest to, Dustin. He is 19, and he is getting married in just over a week. Then it goes me, at 21, and this is all under my mom. She is white by the way. My dad, who is mexican, has my older brother, Manuel, who is 26 or 27, I don't really remember. Long story. Then my oldest sibling, Sabrina. She has 5 kids and she is in her early 30's about. I am horrible at birthdays, and I don't see her that much, so... yeah.

I know this is probably too much information for some of you, and you could probably care less about half of it. There is so much more I wish to share, but I figure, being as I am here and plan to be for who knows how much longer, there is plenty of time for that. But, this much you now know, because as I stated above, you guys are my friends.

Hi.