Open your mouth and say "fail".

Hello, people of Zelaron. Nice to meet you, I'm Dr.Faust. You may call me "Faust" "The Doctor" or whatever else your silly little minds can pull.
Nice to meet you. I hope to have a wonderful experience, just as you all do.

I hope you have a horrible experience just like the rest of us have had.

Welcome to Zelaron! Don't listen to him, he has PTSD.

Good day to you, sir.

Hello doc, can you prescribe me the following medications:

3mg Xanax XR
30mg Time released adderall
20mg Instant release adderall
80mg Oxycontin
2mg Klonopin
10mg Valium
350mg Soma
750mg Vicodin
10 mg/650 mg Percocet

And some Fentanyl patches

Please and thank you.

Can I call you Suuuuuuuuuuusie????

....and he's back.

No, I cannot prescibe them. I am a different kind of doctor....

And no, I will not go by the name Susie. John or "Henry" will do fine, if you must call me by a regular name.

Ignore this post. It was retarded.

Which reminds me.
How many Doctors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Dr. Feel Good? Are you a Motley Crue fan? GAY!

Du bist ein schlechter doktor.

Ja, ich bin.

P.S.

Fail.

Op! I forgot that, too!

Fail!!

P.S. Fail.

Thank you. Come again if you feel anything wrong going on. Just remember the blue one comes BEFORE the white one, and the white one is to be swallowed with liquid, not chewed.

Also not to be taken rectally, if I recall.

That's correct... The only thing that should be taken that way is the Red one, which I assure you, you DON'T need. Yet.

Edit:
On a sidenote.
How's it look? Sort of cheesy, but that's what I was going for.

The avatar? It's cute.