Best Quotes from...Anything

Family Guy:

Dennis Miller: I don't want to go on a rant, here, but America's foreign policy makes about as much sense as Beowulf having sex with Robert Fulton at the first battle of Antietam. I mean when a neo-conservative defenestrates it's like Raskolnikov filibuster deoxymonohydroxinate...

[Peter is watching this on TV]

Peter Griffin: What the hell does rant mean?

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Winston Churchill said this while talking to Lady Nancy Astor:

Lady Nancy Astor: If I were your wife I’d put poison in your coffee.
Winston Churchill: If I were your husband I’d drink it.

w00t.

lol yes I've heard the second one and I've seen the first one on tv.

"Everyone agrees that ideas are far more dangerous than guns. We don't let our people have guns so why should we let them have ideas?" -Joseph Stalin

All I can think of right now

"Imagination is more important than knowledge"

-Mr. Albert Einstein...

"Try not! No, there is no try! You will do!"

-Yoda

"Hey farva! what's the name of that restaurant you like with all the goofy shit on the walls and the mozzerella sticks?"

"Tribal sovereignty means that. It's sovereign. You're a ... you're a ... you've been given sovereignty and you're viewed as a sovereign entity."

This was the President's answer to the following question;

Most school kids learn about government in the context of city, county, state and federal, and of course, tribal governments are not part of that at all. Mr. President, you have been a governor and a president, so you have unique experience looking at it from two directions. What do you think tribal sovereignty means in the 21st century and how do we resolve conflicts between tribes and the federal and state governments?

Watch Here - http://www.ifilm.com/viralvideo?ifilmid=2646755

Shenanigans?

"no matter how far a jackass travels it will never return a horse" batou

"only to things can survive a nuclear war cockroaches and twinkies" peter
same episode
"with out guns who would our forefathers solved there problems" peter

Why does everyone fuck up quotes by Yoda?

"Do or do not. There is no try."

Family Guy quotes ahead

Peter: I read it in a book or something
Brian: Are you SURE it was a book? Are you SURE it wasn't...NOTHING?
Peter: ..Oh..yea..
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Whn stewie and brian travel and stole a car
Stewie: Oh you have agood record now, Public Drunkeness, stealing a car...
Brian: Don't forget smashing your face against the car window..
Stewie: I dont remember..(brian stops and stewie flies forward hitting the window)...well I guess I walked right into that one.

From Futurama:

Zap Brannigan: Once the mother ship is down, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.

From Futurama: Zap Brannigan: Once the mother ship is down, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.

Hahahahaha! Splended.

Noobs
my quotes>your quotes..

Wanker22287: omg
Wanker22287:
Wanker22287:
Wanker22287:
PimpinestJuice69: ??
PimpinestJuice69: shwat?
PimpinestJuice69: cry?>
PimpinestJuice69: why?
PimpinestJuice69: i deed not mean fatman i meen batman!!!!
Wanker22287: you call me fat rofley!

"I have always wished that my computer would be as easy to use as my telephone. My wish has come true. I no longer know how to use my telephone."

Noobs my quotes>your quotes.. Wanker22287: omg Wanker22287: Wanker22287: Wanker22287: PimpinestJuice69: ?? PimpinestJuice69: shwat? PimpinestJuice69: cry?> PimpinestJuice69: why? PimpinestJuice69: i deed not mean fatman i meen batman!!!! Wanker22287: you call me fat rofley!

Nah, that's not a good quote. It looks like two disturbed boys who are unsure about their sexuality.

Same episode of Family Guy.

Brian is at a bar talking to a chick.

Biran: You could be in magazines. And not just 'Juggs' or 'Creamsicle' (spills drink at this point.) Chick leaves.
Brian: Call me!
Brian to the bartender: She won't call....

Family Guy

Pool Attendent to Peter: Sir, could you please move your van off the diving board?
Peter: That's not a van! That's my son!
Pool Attendent(yelling): Oh hey Tom! It's not a van, it's just a fat kid!