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From WikiChina
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Posted 2010-12-01, 04:31 PM
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/01/op...edman.html?hpw

While secrets from WikiLeaks were splashed all over the American newspapers, I couldn’t help but wonder: What if China had a WikiLeaker and we could see what its embassy in Washington was reporting about America? I suspect the cable would read like this:

Washington Embassy, People’s Republic of China, to Ministry of Foreign Affairs Beijing, TOP SECRET/Subject: America today.

Things are going well here for China. America remains a deeply politically polarized country, which is certainly helpful for our goal of overtaking the U.S. as the world’s most powerful economy and nation. But we’re particularly optimistic because the Americans are polarized over all the wrong things.

There is a willful self-destructiveness in the air here as if America has all the time and money in the world for petty politics. They fight over things like — we are not making this up — how and where an airport security officer can touch them. They are fighting — we are happy to report — over the latest nuclear arms reduction treaty with Russia. It seems as if the Republicans are so interested in weakening President Obama that they are going to scuttle a treaty that would have fostered closer U.S.-Russian cooperation on issues like Iran. And since anything that brings Russia and America closer could end up isolating us, we are grateful to Senator Jon Kyl of Arizona for putting our interests ahead of America’s and blocking Senate ratification of the treaty. The ambassador has invited Senator Kyl and his wife for dinner at Mr. Kao’s Chinese restaurant to praise him for his steadfastness in protecting America’s (read: our) interests.

Americans just had what they call an “election.” Best we could tell it involved one congressman trying to raise more money than the other (all from businesses they are supposed to be regulating) so he could tell bigger lies on TV more often about the other guy before the other guy could do it to him. This leaves us relieved. It means America will do nothing serious to fix its structural problems: a ballooning deficit, declining educational performance, crumbling infrastructure and diminished immigration of new talent.

The ambassador recently took what the Americans call a fast train — the Acela — from Washington to New York City. Our bullet train from Beijing to Tianjin would have made the trip in 90 minutes. His took three hours — and it was on time! Along the way the ambassador used his cellphone to call his embassy office, and in one hour he experienced 12 dropped calls — again, we are not making this up. We have a joke in the embassy: “When someone calls you from China today it sounds like they are next door. And when someone calls you from next door in America, it sounds like they are calling from China!” Those of us who worked in China’s embassy in Zambia often note that Africa’s cellphone service was better than America’s.

But the Americans are oblivious. They travel abroad so rarely that they don’t see how far they are falling behind. Which is why we at the embassy find it funny that Americans are now fighting over how “exceptional” they are. Once again, we are not making this up. On the front page of The Washington Post on Monday there was an article noting that Republicans Sarah Palin and Mike Huckabee are denouncing Obama for denying “American exceptionalism.” The Americans have replaced working to be exceptional with talking about how exceptional they still are. They don’t seem to understand that you can’t declare yourself “exceptional,” only others can bestow that adjective upon you.

In foreign policy, we see no chance of Obama extricating U.S. forces from Afghanistan. He knows the Republicans will call him a wimp if he does, so America will keep hemorrhaging $190 million a day there. Therefore, America will lack the military means to challenge us anywhere else, particularly on North Korea, where our lunatic friends continue to yank America’s chain every six months so that the Americans have to come and beg us to calm things down. By the time the Americans do get out of Afghanistan, the Afghans will surely hate them so much that China’s mining companies already operating there should be able to buy up the rest of Afghanistan’s rare minerals.

Most of the Republicans just elected to Congress do not believe what their scientists tell them about man-made climate change. America’s politicians are mostly lawyers — not engineers or scientists like ours — so they’ll just say crazy things about science and nobody calls them on it. It’s good. It means they will not support any bill to spur clean energy innovation, which is central to our next five-year plan. And this ensures that our efforts to dominate the wind, solar, nuclear and electric car industries will not be challenged by America.

Finally, record numbers of U.S. high school students are now studying Chinese, which should guarantee us a steady supply of cheap labor that speaks our language here, as we use our $2.3 trillion in reserves to quietly buy up U.S. factories. In sum, things are going well for China in America.

Thank goodness the Americans can’t read our diplomatic cables.

Embassy Washington.

Maureen Dowd is off today.
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Posted 2010-12-02, 06:23 AM in reply to !King_Amazon!'s post "From WikiChina"
Well good for China. I'm glad they can at least find some good in all this. Lenny, what's the least expensive place to stay, in England?
Skurai
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Posted 2010-12-02, 08:19 AM in reply to !King_Amazon!'s post "From WikiChina"
Haha, I like that article. Well done by Mr. Friedman














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Posted 2010-12-02, 09:07 AM in reply to D3V's post starting "Haha, I like that article. Well done by..."
The sad part is, he's probably right.
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Posted 2010-12-02, 10:17 AM in reply to !King_Amazon!'s post starting "The sad part is, he's probably right."
I wish Wikileaks would get a hold of something more interesting then our political debacle shit-fests. Maybe get a hold of some NASA files? CIA? I believe our country as a whole would actually gravitate (no pun) towards NASA if some of their secrets were to be leaked. If there actually were some sort of Extraterrestrial contact have been made, ever, there would be no more debate and the whole argument could be changed.














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!King_Amazon!: I talked to him while he was getting raped
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Posted 2010-12-02, 10:17 PM in reply to D3V's post starting "I wish Wikileaks would get a hold of..."
A friend of mine brought up a good point the other day. If there is other life in the universe, it is either
1. dumber than/ equal to us
or
2. Uninterested in our dumbasses
To them, we're probably about as interesting as monkeys. Some of them may study us, so may live among us, but as a whole, we're just used as the butt of jokes on their planet, and nothing more. We're barely even acknowledged.
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Posted 2010-12-02, 10:56 PM in reply to Skurai's post starting "A friend of mine brought up a good..."
Skurai said: [Goto]
A friend of mine brought up a good point the other day. If there is other life in the universe, it is either
1. dumber than/ equal to us
or
2. Uninterested in our dumbasses
What kind of argument is that? How do you even back that up? Why is it that any other life that is more intelligent than us would be uninterested in us? Do you think we would be uninterested in other life that is less intelligent than us? If you do, you're a dumbass.

Finding other life in the universe would be an incredible advancement, and most likely for both parties if we were to find another intelligent life form, even if they are more advanced than us. The odds of finding other life are so low that if we were to find other life, it would be almost certain that it was the first time they found other life as well.
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Posted 2010-12-03, 08:29 PM in reply to !King_Amazon!'s post starting "What kind of argument is that? How do..."
!King_Amazon! said: [Goto]
What kind of argument is that? How do you even back that up? Why is it that any other life that is more intelligent than us would be uninterested in us? Do you think we would be uninterested in other life that is less intelligent than us? If you do, you're a dumbass.

Finding other life in the universe would be an incredible advancement, and most likely for both parties if we were to find another intelligent life form, even if they are more advanced than us. The odds of finding other life are so low that if we were to find other life, it would be almost certain that it was the first time they found other life as well.
Prove it.
Skurai
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Posted 2010-12-04, 09:11 AM in reply to Skurai's post starting "Prove it."
There's no way for me to prove something that hasn't happened yet, it is purely conjecture. However, I'm basing it on a couple of simple ideas. Most of our universe is empty space. We are so incredibly far away from everything else that even if there is other life out there, it will be a good long while before we find it or they find us. On top of these vast distances, the odds of life actually getting a kickstart on any given planet are so astronomically low that, combined with the fact that we are so far from everything, any other life we find likely will not have found any other life itself, before us.

But that is deviating from the main point. You asserted that any life that is more intelligent than us would be uninterested in us, and I find that idea to be absurd. Look how excited we are about finding other types of life here on our own planet. We could find single-celled organisms on some other planet and I guarantee we would study them to no end. Just because we are more intelligent does not mean there is nothing to learn from them.
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Posted 2010-12-04, 11:05 PM in reply to !King_Amazon!'s post starting "There's no way for me to prove..."
What if the aliens are arsenic based? Don't shake his hand!
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Posted 2010-12-05, 12:02 PM in reply to !King_Amazon!'s post starting "There's no way for me to prove..."
But what if they don't?
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