Some muffins SUCK.

I don't know why, but some muffins are just consistently SHIT. One bakery/store/brand can have dozens of delicious varieties of muffins, but without fail one type of muffin will just be the shittiest stalest most dry sandy vagina muffin you will ever come across. Who buys those? I want to blow up the kitchen/factory/corporation so as to prevent the further proliferation of humanities worst flour-based tragedy. FUCK shitty muffins.