So this kid wants to fight me?

Alright well it all started out like this:

I was picking up my girlfriend from school (She's still in highschool as some of you already know) and as I'm going to pull out of the school driveway, this kid just stops his car, starts burning out, sending smoke and the smell of burnt rubber all into my windows and shit. So I'm like wtf? Anyway, we keep driving and then again, randomly he stops in the middle of the road, and burns out again! He proceeds to do this two more times and by then I was pretty pissed off.

So, we come up to an intersection, and I pulled up next to him, rolled down my window and yelled "YOUR A FUCKING FAGGOT!"

He then sped off and went home.

Well, the next day at school, he tells my girlfriend that he's going to beat my ass and that I'm a fuckin pussy. SO, hearing this I show up the next day to pick her up, but waited outside the front doors of the school for him. When he saw me, He put up his hood and ran as fast as he could to his car and sped off.

The next day at school, he continues to talk shit to my girlfriend, talking about how I'm a pussy and that I'm not gonna do shit blah blah.

So she tells me this, along with several other people who heard him talking, and I'm like okay... I'll just beat his ass whatever.

I pick up my girlfriend again, and somehow I ended up right behind him again while leaving the school. Right when he's about to drive out of the parking lot, he burns out again, this time for about 30 seconds and so much smoke was produced I couldn't see 3 feet in front of me. (This really pissed me off)

So today at school, I came before they got out so I could wait by his car for him. Unfortunately I couldn't find his car so I parked and waited to see if I could find him. When the bell rang, I started asking people if they knew where he was when finally one person pointed him out.

He was already in his car and I made eye contact with him, and he starts to speed off as fast as he can. So, I cut him off, running across the parking lot until I'm right in his path. I'm praying to god that he stops because he wasn't slowing down and I didn't feel like getting hit by a car.

Well, he finally slammed on the breaks and stops about 2 feet from me. I proceed to yell "GET OUT OF THE FUCKING CAR YOU PUSSY I'M GONNA RIP YOUR THROAT OUT!"

He didn't say anything, just sat there in his car with his 3 buddies. So I walk around to the driver's side window to punch his face in, but as soon as I moved out of the way he sped off, but only about 20 feet ahead of me. He then looked at me threw his side mirror and stuck his tongue out at me.

I then yelled "COME ON PUSSY LET'S DO THIS!" but of course, he just drove off and went home.

Well, I was somewhat upset that I didn't get to fight him, my adrenaline was rushing pretty hard but I was also satisfied to know that he was scared of me.


So, I emailed him, telling him this:

You talk all this shit, think you're so fuckin' cool cause you can "burn out" in your shitty little vehicles, and then you can't even back up your shit talking! Your a fucking pussy dude, you went around school boasting that you were going to beat my ass, and I gave you the full opportunity today to do so, but no, since your such a fucking pussy, you decided to drive away and stick your tongue out at me? WOW! Your a fucking waste of a human being, I'm not even sure why god put you on this earth... Maybe to just be immature and insecure? Yeah, maybe that's it... I don't think you really have any point to your life but to take up space. Honestly, Dog shit and some vaginal discharge would be more beneficial than the space you take up and waste on this earth. So please, do the world a favor and just kill yourself or something. I mean.. Nobody really gives a fuck about you, you're best talent is being able to fuck up your transmission and tires by your pathetic attempts at "Burning out," You can't get a decent looking girlfriend because you're one stupid, ugly mother fucker, and hell, if you didn't exist, then that would just be one less ignorant bitch that annoys everyone. You are SO cool dude, keep it up! I hope you die a slow, painful death. If you need any physical or moral support in committing suicide, I am your number one man. I'll show you how to tie a noose, I can give you a gun to blow off that disgusting face of your's, or I can even give you that push off the ledge of a building that you'll need since you have absolutely no balls to do anything. I'm not even sure why I wasted the 5 minutes of my life it took me to write this. Maybe it's because I hoped that this message would help you pull your egotistic head out of your ass, but come to think of it, that unicellular tissue that you call a "brain" probably isn't even able to comprehend most of what I said. Here, let me try and summarize this message so you can attempt to understand it: YOU = SUCK AT LIFE Is that simple enough for you? Do you have a grasp on what I'm trying to get through your thick skull? If not, then run along and keep being infatuated with your sad self, trying to be "cool" and fit in. IF, (This would be a PHENOMENAL and almost Impossible concept to grasp) you actually do understand what I'm telling you, then please take into action the following steps as listed: 1. Realize that you are not "cool", you aren't with the "In Crowd" and that your really just an insecure worthless person. 2. Stop trying to "burn out" to impress people around you. Most of them don't even care that you exist, and the ones that do are embarrassed to admit that they even know who you are! 3. Stop trying to act "hard" and "tough", 'cause the hardest you're gonna get is when your desperately searching the web for your oh so needed kiddie porn. 4. And lastly, stop talking all of your shit. You obviously are too scared to back any of it up and if you ever do feel like manning up to what you've said, let me know and I'm sure we'll have a hell of a time ;-) Now, I don't expect you to respond to this message because your monitor is most likely radiating so much shocking truths that you probably just shit your pants. That's okay though, you can go purchase some diapers at Walmart or Target and feel like a "Big Boy" again. Anyways, please, PLEASE just shut the fuck up and stop wasting my time with your worthless, ridiculous shit talking. Have a happy Friday! -b0b

So yeah.. it was quite entertaining writing him that message, but their are 2 problems.

1. I'm on probation. If I get in a fight and he goes to the cops, that will be my 2nd offense of violation of probation, and I'll go to jail for awhile.

2. He's a minor, maybe 16 or so, and I am an adult being 19. So that would bring even more charges.


I really want to beat his ass though

Hire another kid at school to do it? Pretty funny though that your getting into shit with a highschool sophmore

Aye, I didn't instigate it, I just want to finish it.

Aye, I didn't instigate it, I just want to finish it.

Ya, I had a kid want to fight me because klo broke up with him and we got back together. While she and he were still in highschool and I wasn't. Just dirt off your shoulder. Just remember, revenge is best served cold. Mmmm with a side of irony. Cut his tires or something. Perhaps put a dead fish under his seat?

Shit in his glovebox.

I'd stick with the classic 'Potato in the car's Tailpipe', especially since he loves that car so much. =P

Saving my ass atm.

...I'd leave it at that...especially considering the whole "probation" angle you've got going there.

Ya that should be enough. I'm sure he gets the point plus a new window can range from 50-500 bucks depeding on various factors.

Though I'm still leaning toward defiling his car with some form of defecation - yours, a dog's, a homeless person's...it's all good.

1.) Unicellular tissue?

2.) You're being an idiot. He's sixteen. And a moron. Why do you give a fuck about what he says.

I've got a dead pigeon outside if you want me to mail it to him?

Not worth it. Obviously, his balls havent dropped yet and hes tryong to prove to his buddies that he isnt a pussy. i mean the dude stuck his tongue out at you. Let it be.

Dude, have you girlfriend find some people at the school to beat the shit out of him. Way to go with the windows, hope he doesn't find out it was you. That part made me laugh pretty hard, to be honest with you.

Unless there's some sort of evidence there's no way in fuck they can prove it was him in criminal court. Civil court is a whole other matter.

This is kind of pathetic. Grow up.

I'd be careful posting confessions too.

Well I already broke out his windows of his car with a bat :-/

Pictures or it didn't happen.

No pictures does not make it fake, Bon Clay.

It means there is currently a lack of proof which in turn means I can't believe it since this is in fact the internet.

Thus the statement pictures or it didn't happen. You better believe that if I anihilated the windows of some douchebag's car I would photograph it thorougly to show all of my friends, who would no doubt question the validity of said statement otherwise.