Salutations friends.

If you are reading this message: congratulations on clicking my thread! You have earned yourself 500 Kjdollars (like ky-doh-lers!)!!! I'm sure you're thinking "What, my dear handsome friend, are you going on about with these 'Kjdollars'?"

I'll tell you, surely. Maybe. Okay, why not? You see, civilization is going to crash because homosexual civil unions in Wisconsin are fighting for their right to fall in lesbians with anyone they please. Now, you may be thinking "What is wrong with this?" I have one thing to tell you and that this is it: You're an idiot. Everything that could be wrong is wrong with that statement.

Sure, I may not pay close attention to the news except when I proudly play Fox News to ensure that I hear the true word of the people, but I listen to just enough to formulate an opinion on it! But I damn well know the news well enough to tell it to you straight. Trust me, Fox News knows their stuff. No one there has ever done anything hypocritical or unethical.

But let's forget about all that. This has nothing to do with my true message. My message of the utmost importance as to why Kjdollars will exist. The world is going to crash and burn. Modern money will lose its value, jewels and other precious elements will increase in value. Soon I will monopolize the local Southwestern parts of the US and create my own currency that will have equal value to jewels and other precious elements. There you will be able to buy books on how to survive post-god-what-the-hell-happened events that will have rocked the world. You will also be able to buy my homemade gravy! If my granny doesn't die and gives me the recipe, that is.

So beware, America. Something crazy is coming and it may knock you on your keisters!

Thank you and God bless!