...but now what?

First thing's first...on Tuesday I finally told Jenny how much I like her. Which she actually seemed to take pretty well, all things considered. I've been trying to tell her since...oooh...Christmassy time, but I never actually plucked up the courage to do so. Sure, I'm full of ideas when other people are trying to do the same - take her out somewhere like a cafe, or to the cinema, get her on her own and just tell her - but when it comes to me I'm utterly hopeless. I'm too shy, or at least was (it seems to have disappeared for a bit !), to even start a conversation on MSN, let alone face-to-face. But finally I told her. And so cheesily!!

"You probably know I like you...heck, who doesn't? If you don't, well you learn something new every day. What I'm trying to say here, rather badly, is that I more than like you. I've been trying to say this, thinking what to say for days, weeks, months. Ever since Christmas for a fact. But I've never said it. Put bluntly: Jenny, I love you."

Yeah, smoothly done, Len.

And now that I've done it, said what I've been saying in my head for months, ticked off the top priority on my ToDo List...I'm kinda stuck.

You know that feeling you get when you've been working on something for so long, that it takes up all your time? Then you finish it and you think "Right, now what?". Join the club.

I know she wants to be single, I know she's been messed around by at least one guy, I know she doesn't want to get involved with a guy again (it was 'never ever' on Tuesday, but by Wednesday it had changed to 'not for a bit')...but, hey, I've never been good at timing. That's why the Conductor follows the Trumpet section, not t'other way round.

So, yeah...but now what? I keep on making excuses to myself for not having a relationship - "oh, I don't know the first thing about relationships, I'll mess it up to no end", "let's stay friends - I'll prefer to be friends for life, than have a relationship for a few months", "I just don't have the lifestyle or social life for a girlfriend", or, most embarassingly, "I've got really clammy hands, she'll be put off fo' sure!".

I've got my Leaver's Party coming up in a month or so (Yr. 11 Leavers Do thingy - what you'd probably call the Prom), and I know that I'll end up dancing with her, it's inevitable.

I can see I've lost the point to this, so I'll wind it up to a close.

So, I've told her, we've spoken for a bit on it (a whole day of worrying later - Did she get the message? What if she didn't? Is she mad at me? What if she hates me?!)...and that's it. Bit of an anti-climax. And I haven't the foggiest idea what to do next. Do I press on straight away, and seem keen? Do I wait a few days, or a week, give her space to breath and get over the fact that Mr. Hair poured out his heart to her? Or be stupid and let the whole thing die down and end up telling her again a year from now?

You're all genii in Love, so come on! What next?