I'm sorry to hear that James, I lost my pure bread springer spaniel about 2 years ago, It had been in my life since I was 2 years old, I loved that dog more than anything, and over the course of it's last few weeks, it couldn't stand up on it's back legs it would drag them for a couple minutes, then it finally got the strength and lifted them up, finally I could watch my dog suffer like that anymore so I went out in my backyard and dug a hole.....and I picked my dog up and got in the car, my sister took him in and held him as he died, I didn't want to hold him while he died......but I held him on the way home, he was wrapped up in a blanket,,,I carried him out back when we got home and layed him in the whole......burried him and was depressed for along time......I know how you feel james......I'm sorry you had to do what you did. I had to put mine down cause they said in about 2 more weeks he would have been completely paralized