So I had a reaction today when I had some cough syrup on top of my Celexa. I felt fine at first, but then I got kinda dizzy and lightheaded, but nonetheless I drove to work. The moment I walked in through the doors, I began to feel very overwhelmed. Felt like there were way too many people, way too many sounds, and the lights felt like they were bothering me.

Nonetheless I walked into the back room to get my till. It became pretty apparent that this was much worse. Way too crowded, way too much noise, and the lights were far worse. The moment I got into the office, I collapsed into a chair, put my hands over my head and started shaking violently and crying. They ended up calling my mom to come get me and I stripped down and flew into bed under the covers, making sure there was no light, sound, and most importantly, no people.

I woke up after a bit to get a call from my friend/assistant manager at my other job. Someone didn't show up and he kept begging me to come in. I explained I'd had a panic attack to a degree I'd never experienced (hell, I've never even HAD a panic attack before) and that I was still too shaky and fucked up to deal with people. He kept egging me on and I kept my ground and told him no. Then he fucking got this snide tone and went "You're not going to do this to me all the time, are you J-P?" I had to bite my tongue and explain that I wouldn't. I know it was because of how I was feeling, but that hurt my feelings. It shouldn't have, but it was just a low blow. I bust my ass and I am always willing to come in at the drop of a goddamn pin drop if I'm called. He knows I work hard and that I won't laze around.

Today just sucked balls in a bad way.