A few things:
1. Your sentences are kind of convoluted and borderline run-ons. The introductory paragraph is a good example of this and I'd suggest that you rewrite it.
2. Why is it that you don't care what kind of job the president does as long as he/she does it efficiently? Does that mean you would support a tyrannical president as long as the public executions were done in a timely manner? I find this rather odd since it ws our current president who dragged in religion again and made it the core of his philosophy which is clearly a contributing factor to the ridiculous war. I think the kind of "job" that a president does may be more important than their efficiency as long as that lack of efficiency doesn't completely discount the job entirely.
3. Paragraph 3 could use a bit more organisation. You speak of two sides of religion and go into a little depth on the first part but you seem to get sidetracked with teh second one. You also leave out the more obnoxious aspect of many religious people which is to "live by the book" only superficially and to look down on others who don't "read the good book" even if those others have a more pious life. For example: Ted Haggard, an evangelical leader of the New Life Church, was notorious for espousing anti-gay rhetoric (clearly fags are the the spawn of Satan) and, wow big surprise!, he was found having sex with his male masseuse and smoking crystal meth. Basically you should place more emphasis on the massively invalidating hypocrisy that is extremely pervasive in the world of organized religion.

Hopefully this helps somewhat.

Il papa caca nei legno?