well first you gotta get an onion and connect two diodes to it, then connect a wire to it and wrap it around each cell phone exactly 32 times (this will increase the pungency of the microwaves) and after that you must use a wooden table because wood brings out the subtle midrange and warmth of the microwaves, after that you call the phones in fibonacci sequence because those numbers are more natural, becuz if you havent noticed yet, the corn the onion and the table are natural, so it works better