I got a letter from my local Verizon store the other day. They claim that I'm "eligible" for a new phone so long as I upgrade my plan to include another line.

Another line? I'm sure they have my age and marital status and, hell, my phone records on file, for that matter. They should realize that I have no interest whatsoever in another line, unless they think I'm interested in texting on one phone while talking to someone on the other. No thanks, Verizon. No thanks.

The kicker is the fact that another local Verizon store sent me a nearly identical letter two days later. Goddamnit! Do your research, leave me alone and stop wasting paper!

I'm done now.