From what I can deduce from your situation it seems to me like you have little choice if you want your son back. I can understand that it is not what you want to do. Going through the courts makes broken bonds absolutely unmendable, and it is a hassle on everyone, however your babies' father seems to be a complete jackass. Your sons deserve a mother. In my opinion, you should do everything in your power to get them back. If they want to play hardball, play hardball.

Good luck to you.