1. Alpine Spiced Cider is awesome because it is hot and it tastes good.

2. I bought the cider because it is getting very cold here at night and in the early morning, which is when I work.

3. I am angry about the fact that it is cold here in the mornings because it's only September, and at this time of year, the temperature should be much more comfortable.

4. I bought the Alpine Spiced Cider in order to warm myself when it gets cold, and it tastes awesome. Therefore, Alpine Spiced Cider is the "shiz-it".

Capische?