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Posted 2004-05-12, 08:20 AM in reply to Titusfied's post starting "This is probably the best one I've read..."
Couldn't fit it on one post.


Back in Newport, Marissa and Summer are sitting in Summer’s room on her bed.

Summer: I can’t believe she lost the baby, that’s so sad.

Marissa: Yeah, it is.

Summer: On the bright side…or the slightly less dark side, your boyfriend is back…at least one of us can be happy.

Marissa: I don’t know Sum, we’ve been back in Newport for two days and he’s barely spoken to me, actually he’s barely spoken to anybody.

Summer: Not even Sandy and Kirsten?

Marissa: No, I was over there yesterday, and as I was walking through the house Sandy stopped me and asked if Ryan had talked to me about everything that had happened, when I told him that he hadn’t really said anything, he looked concerned and then said that Ryan hadn’t talked to him or Kirsten either.

Summer: Well this is a pretty big deal. And Ryan isn’t exactly “Joe – Here’s – What – I’m – Thinking.”

Marissa: Yeah, but every once in a while Ryan does open his mouth and actually talk to me. I just wish I could do something to help. I feel like he’s got this wall up that I can’t break through.

Summer: Coop…he’s Ryan, he always has a wall up.

Ryan sits by himself in the Cohen kitchen sipping coffee and staring at the wall. Kirsten and Sandy entered the kitchen, but Ryan didn’t notice them.

Kirsten: Morning Ryan.

Ryan turned his head and looked over at Kirsten and then at Sandy.

Sandy: Do you want some breakfast?

Ryan shook his head indicating that he wasn’t hungry. Sandy poured himself a cup of coffee and went to the table to sit with Ryan.

Sandy: Are you okay?

Ryan looked over at Sandy and nodded his head up and down, and then went back to sipping his coffee and staring at the wall.

Kirsten: Sandy, can you help me with something?

Sandy: Yeah.

Kirsten led Sandy out of the kitchen and into the living room.

Kirsten: I’m really worried about him.

Sandy: Me too, I just think he needs some time. He’ll pull out of this.

Kirsten: What if he doesn’t.

Sandy: He will.

Kirsten gave Sandy a concerned look. The two were soon distracted by Marissa who walked in the front door.

Marissa: Hey.

Kirsten: Hi Marissa.

Marissa: How is he?

Sandy: Stoic.

Kirsten: It’s hard to tell.

Marissa: Is he in the pool house?

Sandy: No, the kitchen.

Marissa walked past them and entered the kitchen, she saw Ryan sitting at the table still staring at the wall. Marissa walked over and sat down next to him at the table.

Marissa: Hey.

Ryan looked over at her and cracked his half smile. The two sat in silence, Ryan was obviously not talking and Marissa didn’t really feel like having a one sided conversation. Marissa got up from the table and poured herself a cup of coffee, she stood behind Ryan for a few seconds wondering if she had been better off just staying at Summer’s. After a few seconds, she joined Ryan at the table once again and the two sat in silence. A few minutes later Sandy and Kirsten came back into the kitchen and joined Ryan and Marissa at the table. Marissa looked at each of them as they sat down, but Ryan didn’t acknowledge them.

Kirsten: Ryan, are you okay?

Sandy: A verbal response would be nice.

Ryan looked over at Kirsten, and then back at the wall. Marissa looked over at Kirsten, they shared looks of worry and concern. The four of them sat in silence for what seemed like forever for Sandy, Kirsten and Marissa.

Ryan: (Softly) You know…

The other three at the table immediately raised their heads and looked at Ryan.

Ryan: …I don’t even know if that baby was mine, and now…I’ll never know. After everything I went through with the whole abortion issue…one second she’s not having the baby, and the next second she is…to have complete control over the situation and make a conscience decision to have the baby, and then have that same baby ripped away from you in a situation that is completely out of your control…it’s…

Kirsten: It’s not easy.

Ryan: I’m going to wonder if that was my kid for the rest of my life. And I can’t help thinking that if only I had been there, this never would have happened.

Marissa: Ryan, you can’t be sure of that.

Ryan: Yes, I can. Eddie may have hated me, but you can hate a person and still have a certain level of respect for them. If I had been in Chino, Eddie wouldn’t have laid a hand on Theresa…I know it.

Sandy: You can’t blame yourself Ryan; this wasn’t your fault.

Ryan bottled up again and began staring at the wall again. Sandy looked over at Kirsten who was looking at Ryan.

Ryan: Eddie’s in lock up.

Sandy: What?

Ryan: I talked to Theresa yesterday, she told me. He didn’t know the baby had died, so he went home thinking everything was fine, but the cops were waiting for him.

Sandy: That’s good.

Kirsten: How is Theresa?

Ryan: She seemed okay, although she probably isn’t. She was distant; I think I said something to her…in the hospital. I can’t remember, that night is pretty much a blur.

Kirsten: What do you remember?

Ryan: I specifically remember the doctor saying they did all they could, after that…I remember thinking I had to sit down because my legs might give on me. I remember going into Theresa’s room, I think I ran into her mom on the way out, and then…I remember waking up the next morning in the pool house. I don’t remember leaving the hospital or the drive home…I just have this bad feeling I said something I shouldn’t have…I was pretty out of it.

Marissa: Well you didn’t miss anything on the ride home; nobody said anything.

Ryan: Really?

Sandy: We were all pretty out of it.

There was silence for a beat and then Ryan, who was obviously getting everything off his chest, spoke up again.

Ryan: Sometimes I think…I think I screw up everybody’s life that I touch.

Kirsten: That’s not true Ryan.

Ryan: Really, let’s look at my accomplishments since I’ve been in Newport. I turned this damn town upside down when I arrived, I burned down a house, I basically broke up Marissa and Luke, which eventually led to Marissa almost dying in Mexico, Luke got shot in the arm, I’ve thrown so many punches I can’t even keep track, there was daily detention, suspension, pending expulsion, I might have possibly knocked up a girl, and then there’s Seth. Seth running away is just icing on the cake.

Sandy: Seth leaving was not your fault.

Ryan: You’re kidding yourself. If I hadn’t left, Seth wouldn’t have left, and we all know it.

Marissa: What about the fact that you saved my life…twice.

Ryan looked over at Marissa and then looked down at the floor.

Sandy: Or what about everything you did for Seth, did for us, everything you did for this family.

Marissa: And everything you did for Luke after he found out his dad was gay. You pretty much hated him from the second you moved to town, and you pushed all of that aside, and stood by him when nobody else would.

Kirsten: What about the simple fact that you put everybody before yourself.

Ryan looked up from the floor and looked at Kirsten.

Kirsten: You do Ryan, and it is absolutely amazing and honorable. The only problem with people like that is that they always get hurt, it’s inevitable. But that’s you Ryan, you can’t change who you are.

Sandy: It’s true, the fact that you were willing to give up everything and move back to Chino with Theresa without even knowing if the baby was yours, is a perfect example of how you put everybody before yourself.

Ryan stood up from the table, walked over to the sink and rinsed out his mug. He then walked back over to the table, but didn’t sit down.

Ryan: Thanks.

Ryan turned and slowly walked out to the pool house leaving Sandy, Kirsten and Marissa sitting at the table.

Sandy: Well…that went…okay.

Kirsten and Marissa just looked over at Sandy, a few seconds later Marissa got up and walked towards the pool house. Marissa thought about knocking on the door but figured Ryan wouldn’t say anything; she opened the door and walked in. She found Ryan lying on the bed staring up at the ceiling. Marissa walked over to the bed and lay down next to him, and put her head on his shoulder.

Marissa: You okay?

Ryan: Not really.

Marissa shifted from her back to her side and put her arm across Ryan’s stomach.
Marissa: Well, for the record, you didn’t screw up my life…not at all…you saved it.
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