"MEN! WE HAVE TO SAVE HER! MOVE; MOVE!"

They run in shooting. Returned fire by Iraqis.

"Jessica, we're here to save you." soldier.
"Oh thank goodness! Let's get out of here, and I'll give you a BJ you won't ever forget!"


"YA-------HOOO!"

They are preparing to escape. But then...:

"Jessica Lynch is dead!"

"NOOOOO!! My BJ!!!!!!"

And that is the true story.