I was going to roleplay a scenario in which Samus gets owned, but as much as I like my Turok, I can't really see a half-naked warrior defeating a highly armoured opponent equipped with state of the art shitums, so I wont bother wasting my time.

It's a shame seeing such unbalanced matches as these. You guys should have spent a lot more time balancing out where characters start in the bracket, and who their beginning opponent would be. It would have provided better debates, and a overall better experience.