I have a fake magic card called Pedophile's Doom. It makes the opponent discard half of his deck to a seperate graveyard that does not count in bonuses and cannot have any monster summoned from it. It also makes all the monsters in his remaining cards Pedo versions of themselves all having an atk of Gay 9999, but can only attack by offering 3000 life points. I'm serious. Lemme find a scanner.

Mmm...butt-rubbin....Wait....wtf am I doing? God I am useless.