Mantralord MEGAUPDATE!
 

A few points:

First I would like to congratulate Grav on his award for best cheese maker! Grav I gotta hand it to you, I've never had a bleu cheese more flavorful than yours. It was so scrumptuous and rich I could'nt help myself...I had sex with it.

Second I would like to give WetWired a good old fashioned "thumbs up." Nothing fancy, just some basic recognition...for being fat. Haha, didn't see that one coming, didya cremecake? I'm sorry, I've been so rude to you lately. Allow me to make it up to you with a bag of chips and some malt liquor. Keep on chuggin', fatso.

K_A, you've brought me this far (in spite of yourself), and for that I would like to give you a huge pat on the back...all the way to the bottom of the Atlantic. I'm just kiddin'...(or am I??) but for your valiant contributions I would like to award you a bronze-plated gold medal. That's right, if you wear it everyone will think you're a loser, and if you scratch at it to get to the gold it will look messed up and everyone will think you're a loser. Darwinism at it's finest!

A few things:

I was reading up on my C++ and I ejaculated spontaneously. It would be no big deal but it landed on an ant. It's dead.

UPDATE!!!!

It seems I ejaculated again. I rubbed it all over my cat's face and I screamed WASH YOUR FUCKING FACE CAT!!! Then I beat it and it died. Ooh, a dead cat's corpse! I've got a pretty good idea of what's for dinner! (meatloaf)

UPDATE!!!!!

I have misplaced my pants. In place of my pants I have: a big of Doritos, a screwdriver, a used condom, and a 120mm computer fan. The fan has been lodged in my testicles for a while now ever since that time I decided to stick my balls in it when it was running. Oh well, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me! Shame on you fan, you so krazah!! <3

HOLY SHIT! UPDATE!!!

Found the pants, also found $20 bill inside. I wonder what's up with all this free money. I mean, I don't really deserve it. I think I'll give it to charity....the charity at Burger King!! Hahahahaha oh christ.

DOWNDATE!!

Well this is sad, apparently it wasn't really a $20 bill as much as it was a soggy old Civil War-era flag. I learned something new today: flags make good toilet paper, especially the Confederate flag!! Take that D3V!! *fart*

UPDATE!!

I coughed up some dough and decided to go to Denny's. Unfortunately they don't take dough as currency, only dollars :(

GRAV!!

I recieved your email with 1001 pr0nn passwordz warez crackz 133 SLUTTY TEENS FREE IPOD 10X CAM!!.vbs. It was the best anime episode of our favorite anime I've ever seen. Thank you, God among Men.

UPDATE!!

It seems all this typing has made me drowzy. Or maybe it was all those Ritalin I took as a suicide attempt. Regardless, this is the final update so I guess you're all probably relieved at my death/final update/yogurt update.

UPDATE!!

:confused: END UPDATES. :confused:

Very creative.

I miss the DFD stories...bring them back!!!

:cry:

I enjoyed this more the detective dfd

We all know how that would have ended. Something that has to do with cold tiles, murdered hookers, and mantralord's penis in DFD's ass.

Comedy plums.

*dies*

UPDATE!!!!!!!!

I would like to announce the opening of Mantra Cake, the largest bakery in my backyard! Feel free to enjoy a fine eclair at Mantra Cake.

Mantra Cake - Where the cakes are made with semen! (tm)

As long as you don't use bake and fill.

No silly.

He uses pump and bake. Bakes the semen to a fine crisp, tests it himself so he knows its good.

omg was i rite!!!!??

That was just fucking stupid. Die!

At work we always use the special ingredient. Let me give you a hint, it's semen! LLOLLLLERS!

Did you guys ever read that story on the news about the Dentist who put semen into syringues and told the patients to swallow it making them believe it was anesthesia so that they wouldnt feel pain? It was all good til one lady said "This tastes like semen"

I enjoy Mantralord's posts more than anyone else's.

Shut your fuck-hole, bitch.

Obviously you can't keep your fuck-hole closed. It's the size of a watermelon now.

Watermelon..... eh

If you were a male sheep, and there was a hot female sheep, would you fuck it?

Does the hot female sheep consent, and does she have any std's?

She's clean and doesn't care.