Poem, Comment ASAP
 

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.

I'm not sure that "strain" is the correct term when referring to hair. "Strand" would probably be more appropriate, or "thread" or something to that extent.

Either way, it's nice. Maybe try adding another stanza, it's a bit short, which sort of demeans the importance of this strand of hair. A person would read it and go "okay, so she shed on your stuff....so what?"

Dislike.

wedgehr

strain? a disease? pictures plz. describe her hair, show us what you gave, etc.

I dont like the way it flows. Doesnt have much rythm or fluidity to it.

I read your poem, then printed it out so I could shit all over it. Then I printed out another copy and did the same. Lately I havent been using the toilet, I just keep on shitting on printed out copies of your poem, please help me find an end to this problem.

You. Shut the fuck up, NOW. If you have nothing positive to contribute to this thread, your presence is NOT NEEDED. Next time I see you insulting someone else's poetry, you'll find yourself at the end of a nice long stick, engraved with the term "banned". Got it?

Sorry I was just kidding: to make up for it ill give a real opinion;

I like your use of broken sentences to put emphasis on certain points, well wtitten so that it deals with love, but at the same time doesn't sound cheesy, that is very hard to do. Was it written for someone in particular in your life or just for fun? By the way ignore the comments about not having flow because that was on purpose right?... right? oh yeah and change the strain to strand

really nice it flows great just at the end u need a better closing to make the reader wonder